


recalcitrant

by jjaeniel, sixthirty



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gang AU, M/M, Mentions of drugs, Slow Burn, but its fine, guanlin is a little intense, like... daniel is a drug dealer for a while, the rest of wanna one are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 16:18:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16998363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjaeniel/pseuds/jjaeniel, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixthirty/pseuds/sixthirty
Summary: it started out with him, minhyun, seongwu, and sungwoon.





	recalcitrant

**Author's Note:**

> so uh. this took 10 days to write and edit, and me and claudia lost our minds a little bit during the process. this was supposed to be short and then. it turned out to be 21k. i have nothing else to say

there's a searing pain in daniel’s left shoulder. 

 

there’s a searing pain in his left shoulder, screaming and chaos in his ear pieces, and a pounding in his head. he can barely make out the words the others are saying over the rushing of blood in his ears, but he hears “ _...just got shot… alley near park ave… meet you there…”.  _

 

daniel doesn’t know who they’re talking about. the last thing he remembers before blacking out is sungwoon running up to him, concern etched into his features, seongwu and minhyun not far behind. 

 

he remembers trying to ask who got shot, and then he was out. 

 

———

it started out with him, minhyun, seongwu, and sungwoon. 

 

he was 4 when he met them all, when he was dropped off at the orphanage and made someone  _ else’s  _ problem. he was 4 when a curious seongwu, a serious minhyun, and a gentle sungwoon took his hand and guided him into their room to watch them play cards. 

 

daniel was still confused, still had tear tracks streaked down his cheeks, but sitting in 6 year old sungwoon’s lap and getting to look at the aces and spades, hearts and diamonds in black and red in the elder’s hand made him feel better, if only by a fraction. 

 

he never really did stray far from the three of them, sungwoon especially. even as he grew older, made more friends inside  _ and _ outside the orphanage, he never really felt  _ comfortable _ unless he was around the three of them. 

 

despite their room having two bunk beds, enough to fit all four of them, daniel never really did make the top bunk above sungwoon’s his own. sure, his books were scattered across it, his personal stuff shoved up there, but it looked more like storage than a  _ bed.  _

 

where he slept was against the wall, smushed close to sungwoon, head buried in the crook of the elder’s shoulder. seongwu teased them endlessly, referring to them as the lovebirds for  _ years.  _

 

what seongwu  _ didn’t _ need to know is that daniel woke up from nightmares every night, and sungwoon was the only one who could calm him down. 

 

thinking back, sungwoon realized daniel was having nightmares two days into his stay at the orphanage. at that time, daniel was sleeping on the floor in the middle of the bunk beds, too little to climb up yet and sungwoon and minhyun unwilling to give up their bottom bunks. sungwoon was awoken by sniffling and whimpering, mind foggy from sleep but  _ just _ alert enough to realize it was daniel. sungwoon did the only thing he knew to do in the moment, and scooped up a tiny, tiny daniel in his arms, carrying him into his own bed. 

 

sungwoon stayed up late that night, making sure daniel stayed asleep, and somewhere in his little 6 year old mind he knew daniel would never leave his bed. 

 

so that brings them to now, daniel almost 15, sungwoon 17, and both of them  _ way _ too big to be sharing a bed. 

 

“mother _ fucker _ stop  _ kicking me _ ,” sungwoon growls out, pushing a sleeping daniel’s shoulder for the third time in five minutes. 

 

“just roll him over you and push him onto the floor,” minhyun says sleepily from across the room, sounding just as annoyed as sungwoon. “and shut the  _ fuck up already.” _

 

“hey, watch your mouth. i’m older than you,” sungwoon responds, pushing daniel’s shoulder again and kneeing him back. 

 

“can both of you shut up?” seongwu pipes up from the top bunk, head peeking up and hair sticking in eighty different directions. “some people enjoy sleep, and have very important  _ class in the morning _ .”

 

“maybe if daniel would stop  _ motherfucking kicking me _ , i would be able to shut up and everyone would be happy!” sungwoon exclaims, exasperated with the whole situation. 

 

“woon, please stop fuckin’ yelling in my ear,” a voice says from next to sungwoon, laced with sleep. “and stop talking shit about me while im sleeping,” daniel tacks on, language no doubt coming from years of hearing sungwoon’s vibrant vocabulary. 

 

“i vote you kick him out of your bed. you’ve dealt with 11 years of this. he wouldn’t have lived past 7 if he slept with me,” seongwu says matter of factly, yawning wide enough to hear his jaw pop. 

 

“shut  _ up _ , seongwu,” daniel says, arm that was wrapped securely around sungwoon tightening ever so slightly, as if he was scared sungwoon would actually kick him out. he lets out an inaudible sigh of relief when sungwoon rubs his shoulder in reassurance. “i can’t exactly help it when i'm  _ sleeping.” _

 

“jus… tie him down to the goddamn bed and go to sleep,” minhyun says, already snuggled back into bed and completely over the conversation. in an almost perfect imitation of seongwu, he grumbles out, “tired of lovebird drama.”

 

“we are  _ not lovebirds!” _ daniel and sungwoon chorus in unison, annoyance lacing both of their voices. it had to be close to 4 in the morning at this point, and sungwoon knew if they all didn’t just  _ go back to sleep _ , the guardian would be in to give them a scolding. 

 

sungwoon wasn’t about to risk it. 

 

“goodnight, you  _ absolute demons, _ ” sungwoon says exasperatedly, closing his eyes and forcing himself asleep.

 

the rest follow in suit after saying their goodnight’s, and if this all repeated itself three hours later and they finally  _ did  _ get scolded, no one mentioned it after. 

 

———

 

sungwoon is forced to leave that march. he’s forced to leave because he's 18, an  _ adult  _ now, and could obviously provide for himself. the orphanage gives him enough to put a down-payment on a shitty apartment nearby, and with that, he leaves. 

 

sungwoon leaves, and with it comes daniel’s insomnia. he had gotten so used to sleeping with someone next to him, with waking up from nightmares to a hand rubbing his back and wiping his cheeks, with just  _ warmth _ next to him, it was impossible to sleep without it. 

 

so he stayed up. he took naps during the day, saved all his homework until last minute so he had things to do at night, and ignored the concerned looks minhyun and seongwu constantly gave him. he was  _ fine,  _ sorta.

 

daniel was almost 16 when he learned what feeling  _ lonely _ was like. a true, aching feeling in his chest, feeling like it was going to claw itself from the inside out. he never knew what it felt like before, could never relate to the stories and movies, but he  _ got _ it now. he knew. 

 

it’s that november, eight months after all of it started and one month before his birthday, that daniel has a full blown breakdown. he had seen sungwoon over the months as often as he could, between sungwoon working and daniel going to school, but it wasn’t  _ enough.  _ it wasn’t enough to soothe the ache in his chest, the pressure in his head, the full body loneliness that accompanied daniel everywhere he went. 

 

so, daniel breaks down at 3:35 on a tuesday night, right in front of minhyun and seongwu. the 17 year olds are perplexed, eyes following the various pens and non-breakables ( _ at least he was considerate _ ) daniel is throwing across the room, watching him gasp for air as he cries and curses. 

 

it’s only when daniel sinks down to his knees, chest heaving and looking exhausted, that anyone says anything at all. 

 

“daniel,” minhyun starts, sinking down in front of daniel on the floor. “what’s going on?” he says it so simply, so calmly, like he didn’t just watch daniel have a fit like a six year old who didn’t get what they want. daniel admired him for that- being calm in any situation. in the back of daniel’s mind, he wished he could be that way too. 

 

“i miss him,” daniel says after a while, voice strained and sounding desperate. he doesn’t look up from where he’s looking at the floor, body hunched over protectively. 

 

minhyun and seongwu don’t need to be geniuses to know who ‘ _ him’ _ is. 

 

“you see him more than we do,” seongwu says gently, laughing slightly to try and lighten the mood if even by a fraction. it was his job, after all. if the teary glare he receives in return is any indication, he knows he fucked up this time. 

 

“you- you don’t  _ get it _ ,” daniel says, wiping his eyes haphazardly. his voice raises slightly, and his shoulders scrunch up higher. he looks- betrayed. “neither of you could  _ ever get it.” _

 

“so explain it,” minhyun states simply, voice still just as calm despite daniel’s rapidly changing mood. “tell us what we don’t get, and we’ll find a solution.”

 

and that was always minhyun, finding solutions where the others couldn’t. 

 

“i-i… i can’t… my body doesn’t- i can’t  _ fucking sleep _ without him,” daniel says, suffering through his words, sounding like he was pulling them out of his throat forcefully. “i-  _ fucking nightmares _ \- and- and-“

 

“daniel,” minhyun interrupts gently after seeing how worked up daniel was continuing to get. reaching out a hand to the younger’s shoulder, minhyun bends his head low enough so his forehead could rest against daniel’s own. “what nightmares?”

 

at this, daniel looks into minhyun’s eyes and sees the concern there, along with all the love minhyun could possibly have for daniel shown right there on his face, and cries. 

 

he cries, and cries, and stutters out an explanation of the last 12 years, all while minhyun holds him and shushes him just like sungwoon used to. daniel’s too big to be held now, but minhyun tries his best (he might be bigger than daniel, but daniel’s still stupidly big for 16). 

 

seongwu looks on uselessly, feeling _awful_ for daniel, for ever assuming sungwoon and daniel were just being _weird_ rather than daniel actually needing sungwoon, for being an indirect asshole for years. he croaks out a soft _‘i’m sorry’_ from the top bunk, legs hanging over the bars and hands gripping the railing tight. 

 

“f-for  _ what,” _ daniel stutters out, sniffling loudly and gripping onto minhyun’s shirt like he was three rather than almost 16. he felt warm and safe, and as he let out another hiccup, he silently thanked whoever put minhyun in his life.

 

“for- for calling you guys lovebirds for like, eight years. and like, making fun of you for sleeping in his bed and-”

 

“stop it,” minhyun interrupts, looking up to where seongwu hasn’t moved. always the voice of reason, he continues, “you didn’t know, and daniel never corrected you on why. no one has anything to be sorry for.”

 

“what minhyun said,” daniel responds, letting out another sniffle and wiping his eyes. he’s starting to get tired, all the energy he had before completely sucked out of him from crying so much. 

 

“okay,” seongwu practically whispers, moving his legs close to his chest and unwrapping his hands from the railing to wrap around his legs. “okay,” he repeats. 

 

they’re quiet for a while after that, just basking in the silence. seongwu eventually moves down to the floor and holds onto one of daniel’s hands to remind him he was there, minhyun humming some song only he knew. daniel let out another silent thanks to whoever gave him  _ both _ of them. 

 

it’s way past 5am when all three of them work to push the second bunk bed across the room and climb into the now bigger bottom bunk, still smushed tight despite the room. daniel sleeps better than he has in 8 months, and when he sees sungwoon the next day, for the first time he doesn’t have to lie about how he slept that night. 

 

———

 

when minhyun and seongwu leave at 18, daniel knows he’s fucked. 

 

he has other friends. he has more friends than he can count on two hands, has friends at school and scattered in different places around the city. daniel has friends, and yet the loneliness comes back. he stays in his room most of the time, only leaves to go to class and to see the trio he grew up with. he visits sungwoon, minhyun, and seongwu (they all live together now, in a nice apartment on the other side of town, and daniel hates them for it) more often than he can count, but nothing feels  _ right.  _ absolutely nothing daniel does feels right.

 

he lasts until that august, until minhyun and seongwu’s 19th birthdays, until he finally breaks. daniel doesn’t know what else to do, so he leaves. 

 

he doesn’t have much at all at the orphanage, most of his bigger belongings at the trio’s apartment across town so no one messes with them. taking a deep breath, he shoves everything into a duffle bag and backpack, takes one last look at the room he lived in for 13 years, and leaves. 

 

the summer air is hot and humid around him, almost choking him, and while daniel knows where he's going to end up by the end of the night, he figures he’ll wander for now. no need to bother them  _ now,  _ at 12am (he knows they wouldn’t mind- never would when it came to daniel. but  _ daniel _ minds, wanting to be considerate. he can wait until morning). 

 

he goes to his usual hangout spots, ones he's acquired over the time without minhyun and seongwu, and talks with various people. people he knows, people he doesn’t, just- people. he stays out until everyone’s gone, until the sun is starting to rise over the skyscrapers, until daniel can barely force himself to drag his feet down the subway steps and onto the right train. 

 

he gets to their apartment around 6am, and just- waits outside their door for a minute. stands there, and thinks long and hard about what he’s about to do. 

 

then he finally knocks. after a minute, he knocks again, and waits. it's only when the door opens that he says anything at all, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

 

“mom,” he breathes out, dropping his duffle bag and accepting the hug shes reaching out for. everything feels-  _ right  _ for the first time in months.

 

———

it was around month 5 without minhyun and seongwu when daniel started looking for his mother. legally, or something, the orphanage couldn’t give him any information, so he looked himself. 

 

he found her around month 7, and since then they had been talking- sort of. 

 

he learned why she had to give him up, all her reasons, and he knew he couldn’t be mad if he tried. she did what was best for  _ him,  _ always for him. daniel can’t deny the love she has for him, even if the bitter 15 year old daniel in his head tries to. 

 

she’d call every saturday without fail, and would tell him any time he wanted to visit, the door was open. she wouldn’t push him, demand he come see her now. she was caring, and loving, and daniel was  _ ecstatic.  _ he was glad, in the back of his mind, that this was his mother. he was  _ proud _ to be hers, proud to be from someone as loving and caring as her. he was so  _ happy. _

 

it was on the night he decided to leave that he called her, and let her know he’d be by in the morning. she was thrilled, barely contained joy in her voice, and daniel couldn’t stop smiling even after they hung up. he was excited to finally see her, to find out if they looked alike, find out what she was like in person. 

 

when daniel arrives, he spends a few minutes just  _ staring,  _ feeling a pure happiness spread through him for the first time in months. part of him can’t believe this is real in the slightest, but she hugs him again and daniel realizes  _ it is.  _ he can’t stop  _ smiling _ .

 

they have breakfast together, and even though daniel is exhausted and just wants to sleep, he talks to her. he tells her about everything, about sungwoon, minhyun and seongwu, tells her about his classes and his hobbies. he knows she knows most of this already, but something about being able to tell her in person is better than anything he could say over the phone. he sees similarities in them, not just in the way they look, but in their personalities. daniel’s mom is kind and caring, gentle and sweet, and daniel- daniel can’t lie and say he's not the same. 

 

in turn she talks about herself, about what's been going on for the past 13 years, and daniel’s heart aches. she’d really tried her best to keep him, but ultimately the cards were never in her favor. daniel gets it, he really does. he feels all past resentment leave him that morning, completely and utterly. 

 

after two hours of talking daniel finally gets to sleep, and for the first time in months, he doesn’t have a nightmare while sleeping alone. 

 

———

 

the illegal stuff doesn’t start happening until daniel’s almost 19. 

 

he never really did tell the trio where he was living for the past two years, begging off on them coming over by saying his roommate was an asshole. it’s not that daniel didn’t want them to know what was going on but- part of him was selfish. wanted to keep this to himself for just a little longer ( _ as if two years wasn’t enough _ , he thinks to himself, and immediately feels guilty). they’d tried countless times to just get him to move in with  _ them _ , but daniel refused each and every time with a convincing smile and a  _ ‘it’s fine!’ _ . the nightmares almost stopped completely, and daniel was truly  _ happy.  _

 

daniel was happy, but he was  _ broke _ . his cafe job wasn’t exactly paying him enough to support himself if need be.

 

and don’t get him wrong- daniel  _ had _ smoked weed before. in the in between time without minhyun and seongwu, he got up to a lot of stuff. stuff that wasn’t  _ exactly _ legal, but not illegal enough to be caught. 

 

so, when daniel’s 19 and short for cash, he starts selling weed. it’s easy, at first. he has few people to provide for (mainly just friends he’s acquired over the years), and everyone is understanding when his supplier is dry and he can’t get them stuff until next week. he sees sungwoon, minhyun, and seongwu as much as possible, and for once in his life he doesn't have to give them sheepish smiles and beg for them to pay for him. he doesn’t start selling other stuff, other higher end drugs, until he realizes how much of a  _ profit _ he can make from it. he gets more customers, more people relying on him, and feels on top of the world. 

 

so really, it's only a matter of time before sungwoon finds out about  _ everything  _ and knocks him down a few pegs. 

 

“what the  _ fuck, _ daniel,” sungwoon says, pacing back and forth across his living room. daniel’s sitting in the middle of the couch, feeling like a little kid about to get scolded rather than an adult who can make his own decisions. minhyun and seongwu are on either side of him, looking on in confusion. “your  _ mother? drugs?” _

 

“look, listen alright-“

 

“no, what the  _ fuck _ ,” sungwoon interrupts, stopping to  _ really _ look at daniel. he looks- furious, and everything that has a ball of anxiety growing in the pit of daniel’s stomach. “you’ve been lying for  _ years _ . you just expect me to accept it and move on?”

 

“when did i say that!” daniel exclaims, exasperated. “i just want you to  _ listen _ .”

 

seongwu raises his hand hesitantly, and lets out a small  _ ‘hey, yeah, what the fuck are we talking about?’ _ and gets an agreeing nod from minhyun in return. at this, sungwoon gives daniel a  _ look,  _ a look that says ‘ _ you wanted me to listen, so talk,’ _ and crosses his arms. daniel wants to crawl into a hole and hide forever. 

 

“so, erm, i guess i’ll start from when you guys left,” daniel says, gesturing to minhyun and seongwu. he takes a deep, deep breath and begins. 

 

he starts with the loneliness, how it felt like there was a permanent hole in his chest, how the only thing that helped was finding a purpose. if that purpose was finding his mother, well, daniel couldn’t explain that one any better to a group of orphans. they knew why. 

 

then he moves on to the drugs, how it was a way to pass time at night when he couldn’t sleep ( _ you could’ve just snuck out and came here, niel, _ minhyun reminds him softly. daniel ignores him). how he didn’t start selling until he desperately needed cash, how he didn’t want to  _ stop  _ now that he saw how much money he could make. 

 

“so what you’re saying is, you have a mom and you’re a kingpin now,” seongwu states simply, turning towards daniel on the couch. he looks-  _ impressed _ . daniel  _ felt _ how sungwoon’s glare turned on seongwu for a split second before going back to him.

 

“i’m not a kingpin, idiot,” daniel says, letting out a laugh. he could still feel sungwoon glaring at him, but he tried his best to ignore it. 

 

“our baby… you’ve grown up so much,” seongwu says, reaching over to squish daniel’s cheeks. 

 

“impressive, honestly,” is all minhyun adds, giving daniel a smile. 

 

“am i the only one in this house with common fucking sense?” sungwoon finally pipes up from where he’s standing, arms crossed tightly across his chest. “you can't just- you can’t just fucking sell drugs, daniel. you need a real job.”

 

“i have a real job,” daniel says after a minute, voice quiet, good mood evaporated in seconds. nothing would ever stop him from feeling anxious and uncomfortable when it was  _ sungwoon _ mad at him. “i work at the cafe down the street, too.”

 

“so why the  _ fuck are you selling drugs,” _ sungwoon growls out, sounding like he was going to hit daniel any second. maybe he was. “do you not realize how  _ dangerous _ this is?”

 

“it’s- it’s not a big deal,” daniel says weakly, not meeting sungwoon’s eyes. he knows it’s a cop out, he knows it’ll serve to rile up sungwoon more, but he just wants this conversation to be  _ over already. _

 

“not a big deal?  _ not a big deal? _ what the  _ fuck, _ ” sungwoon says, sounding incredulous. “you know what, daniel, if you really think this isn’t a big deal then don’t talk to me. just- don’t talk to me until you figure your shit out.”

 

and then he was gone, bedroom door slamming behind him. daniel didn’t stay long after that. 

 

———

 

they really don’t talk for awhile.

 

daniel’s nightmares come back, he talks less to people, he only leaves his house to work, and overall feels like someone scooped out his heart and ran over it a few times before shoving it back into his body. 

 

he sees minhyun and seongwu a few times, and from their report, sungwoon isn’t doing much better. daniel scoffs and reminds them  _ he’s  _ the one who said not to talk to him in the first place. 

 

“you guys sound like children,” seongwu comments one day over lunch, picking around his plate for the best fry. they’re sitting outside at a cafe downtown, minhyun and seongwu’s legs tangled together under the table like  _ weirdos, _ in daniel’s opinion. “ _ he’s being irresponsible! he’s the one who said this! _ just fucking make  _ up already _ .”

 

“i hate to agree with seongwu but- i agree with seongwu,” minhyun responds, reaching over to grab the fry straight out of seongwu’s hand. he rolls his eyes the angry  _ ‘hey!’ _ he gets in return and flashes seongwu a cheeky smile in response. 

 

daniel sighs, and rests his head on a palm. “if he wants to make up, then we will. he’s stubborn as shit, you both know that.”

 

“see, but the problem here is he found  _ out _ about you selling drugs. if he doesn’t know, he won’t care,” seongwu says, leaning back in his chair. he crosses his arms over his chest, and sighs before saying, “like- me and minhyun have been doing it for years and he doesn’t know shit.” 

 

“what,” daniel deadpans, staring at seongwu, then minhyun, then back to seongwu. he really refused to believe what he just heard. 

 

“you must not be a very good drug dealer if you don’t know all your competition,” minhyun says, flashing daniel a smile. daniel has never felt more confused in his life. “we knew about you the night you started selling. you’re like, super late. obviously we had to act surprised when sungwoon yelled at you but, well.”

 

“what the fuck,” daniel responds, feeling like he was being played with. “you’re serious?”

 

“100% young one,” seongwu says, flashing daniel a smile much like the one minhyun just gave him. “just tell sungwoon you stopped selling, and don’t be stupid this time.”

 

daniel takes their advice, but it doesn’t mean he’s not annoyed. it’s ridiculous that sungwoon had the  _ audacity _ to get mad at him like this for shit he’s been doing for  _ years _ , acting like he didn’t know what he was doing at this point _. _ it's even more ridiculous that seongwu suggested that  _ he _ should apologize when he’s not the one who even said  _ ‘don't talk to me’ _ in the first place. the whole situation is just  _ fucking ridiculous. _

 

so daniel gets risky. he knows he shouldn’t, but he’s  _ annoyed _ , fed up even. sure it throws him a little off kilter because it’s sungwoon, and he’s never upset with sungwoon, but he’s not some  _ kid _ that sungwoon can boss around anymore. yes he knows it’s illegal, but he’s  _ smart  _ and he thinks he deserves a little more credit than what’s been given, if even by a fraction. 

 

he starts going out more than usual, from a few times every week to nearly every night, specifically during the busy hours of the night. he sees a lot of familiar faces, holding a few pleasant conversations as if it's not 2:45 in the morning where he’s handing out drugs like it's a high school bake sale.

 

when two men walk up to him one night, he ignores the churning in his gut and smiles instead.

 

“hey kid,” one says, voice deep and rough. “you got some smack?”

 

daniel’s smile falters, shaking his head. “ah sorry, not tonight. dealers run dry for that, gotta wait ‘till next week. sorry again.”

 

“is this some joke to you, or something?” the other spits. daniel feels his blood run cold at the pure viciousness in the question, and stops short.

 

giving them an incredulous look, he says, “no? i just don’t have smack tonight, i don’t know what else to tell you.”

 

the first guy narrows his eyebrows, visibly clenching and unclenching his fist. “you got a lot of nerve kid, coming out here like you own the street or somethin’. i bet no one's taught you a lesson, huh? well, i guess there's a first time for everything.”

 

daniel prepares himself for the punch that lands in his stomach, effectively taking all the breath out of him. the other lands one on his cheek causing him to fall to the ground. they take turns kicking the shit out of him, before finally spitting in his face and walking away, laughing loudly. 

 

he turns to look at the sky, letting the tears fall as he waits for the pain to pass by. he isn’t sure how long he lies there and wishes someone he hasn’t talked to in months was there.

 

when he wakes, the first thing he notices is that the ceiling room light is way too bright. there’s some shuffling off to the side, and he heaves a groan as the slight turn to the right proves to be futile as he goes tumbling off the couch, landing flat on his face. his groan is muffled by the floor, distracting him momentarily from the footsteps treading lightly behind him.

 

he doesn’t recognize the person standing above him, looking on timidly as if  _ he’s  _ the one on the floor.

 

“uh. hey?” daniel questions, hand out to block the way too bright light.

 

the man smiles warmly, holding out his hand to pull daniel up. “hello, i’m jisung. i’ve heard a lot about you, daniel.”

 

daniel, now sitting comfortably on the couch with a glass of wine in his hand, turns to jisung, pulling his legs up to his chest. the past 15 minutes have been a whirlwind of explanations from jisung, and his brain feels confused and fuzzy. he waits patiently as jisung starts on answering daniel’s  _ “how do you know sungwoon?” _ question. 

 

“ah, where do i begin? i met sungwoon not long after his 18th birthday. i was assistant manager at the time at my cafe, and sungwoon comes in looking like a fairy holding a shoddy, sad excuse for a job application clutched in his fist. he had no skills.” jisung looks off fondly, smiling into his cup. “i took him in anyway.”

 

daniel nods slow, staring into the swirling liquid in the glass.

 

“i took him in because i saw he was desperate. he had some sort of fiery passion in his eyes that stayed with me for a long time. it wasn’t until two or so months in that i realized it that all the extra work he did was so he could move into a bigger apartment. when i had asked, he spoke about you, minhyun, and seongwu with this passion and fondness and love that i cannot even comprehend to this day. it was him who also shoved jinyoung and daehwi into my care because he didn’t know what to do.”

 

daniel tilts his head in question, shifting, “who’s daehwi and jinyoung?”

 

“a couple of runaway kids. they suffered a terrible childhood, i couldn’t  _ not  _ take them in. they’re actually out right now, but you can meet them, if you want?” jisung suggests, making to get up. “let me refill your glass. think about it, okay?”

 

jisung disappears into the kitchen, and daniel takes the time to digest everything he’s been told. the churning in his stomach hasn’t stopped since jisung told him that sungwoon spoke of him kindly, that he worked just for the apartment that the trio lives in now. he also isn’t surprised that sungwoon went to jisung for help with daehwi and jinyoung, as he had no experience except with him, minhyun, and seongwu.

 

he belatedly realizes that he didn’t even  _ know  _ sungwoon worked at a cafe, much less searched for a job at all. that thought brings anxiety into him that he didn’t even know existed.

 

jisung comes back, smiling warmly at daniel, handing him a glass. “daehwi and jinyoung are on their way, are you gonna hang around? they’re lovely, y’know. some of the kindest people in existence.”

 

it’s immediately then that daniel comes to the conclusion that jisung is an angel. “y-yeah,” he clears his throat, “i’d like that.”

 

_ ——— _

 

it’s a cold night in december when daniel comes home and no one is there to greet him but his cats. he calls out for his mom multiple times, looks in every room in the house, and even calls her phone over and over to no avail. all he hears is a distant ringing, and finds her phone right on the kitchen counter. 

 

he decidedly panics, not sure what to do. his mom is  _ always _ home at this time. she doesn’t go out, and  _ always _ tells him if she does. even if it’s as simple as going around the corner to the store. 

 

his mind immediately goes to calling sungwoon. he knows they haven’t talked in months, haven’t even  _ seen _ each other since then, but he knows sungwoon would know what to do. he always did. but his pride- kang daniel and his stupid fucking pride- prevented him from dialing the number he’s been wanting to for months. 

 

in the midst of thinking over that and panicking all the same, he sends a flurry of panicked texts to his group chat with minhyun and seongwu. minhyun was smart and good under pressure, he could definitely help, and seongwu always did have a sixth sense for trouble. if seongwu said it was something bad, he’d swallow his pride and call sungwoon. if not, he’d chill the fuck out and go to bed. 

 

he waits approximately two minutes before just up and calling seongwu, then minhyun, then seongwu again. no answer. groaning loudly and taking a deep breath, he tries minhyun  _ one _ more time and curses when he still doesn’t answer. 

 

so, they were out of the equation. daniel really only had one option left, and it felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest for more reasons than one. 

 

taking a deep, deep breath, daniel opens up sungwoon’s contact and just- stares at it for a minute. the numbers he memorized by heart look so foreign to him now. he doesn’t even know if sungwoon will pick  _ up.  _

 

he takes the risk and dials. what he doesn’t expect is for sungwoon to pick up immediately. 

 

“daniel,” sungwoon says, not sounding mad or annoyed. it shocks daniel, fully expecting the complete opposite of what was happening right now. 

 

“sungwoon, i- i need-“

 

“i know. i saw your texts to minhyun and seongwu. minhyun left his phone here and it started blowing up so i just- i got nosy i guess,” sungwoon interrupts, sounding sheepish.

 

“i- what?” daniel says, completely forgetting why he called in the first place. his mind stutters, buzzing loudly in his ear. his palms are sweaty, his back stiffens up, and his mind hasn’t stopped running.

 

“my  _ mom,  _ sungwoon-“ he thinks he’s crying, but he can’t really tell.

 

“ _ breathe.”  _ sungwoon whispers. daniel thinks he’s not taking this seriously.

 

“do you think this is some kind of fucking joke?” daniel bites out, digging his nails into his palms, ignoring the igniting pain as he draws blood.

 

“what?  _ no? _ daniel, i just think-“

 

“you think what? i’m making this shit up? my fucking  _ mom _ , sungwoon. i-“ he interrupts, not letting sungwoon finish in the slightest. his anger rises, anxiety climbing up his throat. he doesn’t notice that he bit into his lip until there’s blood running down his chin. he’s so fucking,  _ something. _ he’s mad but he’s sad and everything  _ hurts _ . he misses sungwoon but this isn’t his fault so why does he feel like it’s his fault?

 

“daniel.” sungwoon says sharply.

 

“i’m fucking tired, sungwoon. i can’t- i can’t breathe and i’m tired of crying and my goddamn  _ mother _ i just got her back and she’s gone and i don’t know what to do? no one fucking is  _ helping _ and i get the feeling that you just-  _ i don’t know _ .” he groans out, almost sobbing at this point. he knows he's making this a bigger problem than it has to be, that he’s morphing this into something else entirely, but he doesn’t  _ care.  _

 

“i get that you’re fucking upset with me sungwoon, but like, i’m not a fucking child, i can sell drugs and do what i want and i miss you but this is a fucking joke. this is a goddamn joke. so you know what? fuck you. fuck you and your goddamn morals, fuck you and- just.  _ fuck you _ .” daniel almost yells into the phone, before throwing it at the wall, watching it shatter into multiple pieces at the force of impact. his legs give out underneath him, and he kneels on the floor, crying. 

 

he doesn’t know how long he sits there, in the middle of his living room, smashed phone only feet away. it has to be over an hour, because there's a knock at his front door. he drags himself up, feeling downright exhausted. he’s not surprised to see minhyun and seongwu, but the anger he felt before grows as he spots  _ sungwoon _ behind them.

 

daniel clenches his fist and he throws the door open.

 

“are you all fucking serious?” he spits out, digging his nails into something,  _ anything _ .

 

“niel,” minhyun says softly, reaching out a hand. as soon as it touches daniel’s shoulder, the younger flinches back from the connection as if he got burned.

 

“i don’t know if this is some kind of prank, but frankly i don’t care anymore. my mother is  _ gone _ and all of you are making this about my  _ feelings _ . you wanna know what i feel? i’m mad. i’m distraught. i'm scared. i just got my fucking mother back and now she’s gone and no one fucking  _ cares _ so i’m gonna find her on my own.”

 

daniel isn’t sure what he feels exactly, but the fear in him overpowers everything else as he leaves the building with no jacket at all. he isn’t sure where to exactly look, but he feels like a goddamn mess. he doesn’t realize someone is following him until there's a hand wrapping around his arm, tugging him back. 

 

“kang  _ daniel,”  _ sungwoon stresses, voice full of  _ something _ daniel can’t name. he’s holding a jacket in his left hand, and hasn’t let go of daniel’s arm. 

 

“ _ what,” _ daniel spits out, still angry from their call from before. everything in daniel was  _ furious,  _ and he couldn’t calm down. logically, he knows none of this is sungwoons fault. he knows sungwoon didn’t take his mother from daniel, didn’t cause all of this to happen, but he was  _ angry. _

 

“it’s fucking freezing out here, you’re not looking for your mother in a t-shirt,” sungwoon says, holding out the jacket. it’s definitely not daniel’s, has to be minhyun’s based on the size, and daniel feels himself deflate slightly.

 

accepting the jacket from sungwoon’s outstretched hand, daniel slips it on and feels tears spring to his eyes again. this whole situation was  _ ridiculous, _ and stupid and  _ not okay.  _

 

“oh niel,” sungwoon says softly, pulling the younger into a hug, tucking daniel’s face into the crook of his neck. he shushes him as daniel starts to cry in earnest. speaking quietly so only daniel could hear (the streets are barren at this time of night, but sungwoon doesn’t care), he says “minhyunnie found a clue as to where she could be at the house. they’re going over there now with minhyunnie’s friends. we’re gonna get her back, niel.”

 

at this daniel cries harder, shoulders shaking. he cries until he's reduced to hiccups, just standing there with his face buried in sungwoon’s neck. he cries over his mom, over how much he’s missed the elder these past few months, over anything and everything. he’s no doubt soaked sungwoon’s shirt, and he immediately feels guilty. 

 

“i’m sorry,” he croaks out, sniffling and moving so he could look at sungwoon. “i’m sorry for assuming you didn’t care- and for… for being an asshole.”

 

at this sungwoon smiles softly, reaching up to rearrange the hair on daniel’s head. “it’s alright nielie. let’s not pretend i wasn’t in the wrong as well. i shouldn’t have bossed you around and thought i could control you, even if it was coming from a place of concern. let’s just focus and go get your mom back, yeah? we have all the time in the world to talk about the rest.”

 

“yeah,” daniel says, following behind sungwoon when he turns around to walk the way they came. he’s still upset, but more residually than actually upset at something at this point. he trusts sungwoon, and minhyun and seongwu, as well as minhyun’s friends. he trusts them all, and just hopes they won’t let him down. 

 

it’s hours later, when daniel is at the hospital with his mother making sure she’s  _ okay, _ that daniel breaks down again. as if made of air, sungwoon suddenly appears behind daniel. maybe he came through the door or maybe he was there the whole time, daniel doesn’t know or care to know. a gentle hand on daniel’s back prompts the younger to get up, albeit hesitantly. he doesn’t want to leave his mother, especially not after the events of today (a rival drug dealer had taken her, threatened her for information, and she refused the whole way through), but he trusts sungwoon and he trusts the doctors and police officers poised outside her door to keep her safe. 

 

he follows sungwoon out to the waiting area, where he finds minhyun and seongwu as well. he lets out a sigh of relief and goes to hug minhyun first, then seongwu. he doesn’t know how it turns into a group hug, but suddenly he’s being engulfed on all sides. he’s thankful for the three of them, his family before anyone else. 

 

daniel doesn’t know how long they stand there, just hugging, but he’s grateful fate had put them all together. he wouldn’t trade any of them for the world, even if they fought sometimes. he knew everything would work out in the end. 

 

———

 

daniel thinks a lot about the orphanage. 

 

he hasn’t been there since he left that august night, and he wonders if it still looks the same. wonders who’s taken over his, sungwoon, minhyun, and seongwu’s room now. if they’re all as close as the four of them are. 

 

he thinks a lot about it, so it's only natural it comes up in conversation one night when the four of them are drinking.  _ relax and unwind _ , seongwu had said the second he walked in the door, shoving a bottle of  _ something _ into his hands and pushing him towards the couch. 

 

“do you ever like- do you ever think about what it’s like now?” daniel asks, mind just a little too fuzzy to focus properly. he’s leaning against minhyun, practically in his lap. minhyun had a hand in his hair, stroking in an uneven pattern.

 

“sometimes,” seongwu says, less drunk than daniel himself. whether it be from having more tolerance than the younger (daniel doubts it) or just not drinking as much, he seems clearer. more with it. 

 

“we should go look at what it’s like,” daniel says, picking at a stray thread on his shirt. he doesn’t think anyone is going to take him seriously, until he hears a  _ “we should” _ and watches as sungwoon stands up. his eyes follow as the elder strides across the room to the front door and stops, looking back at the three of them still sitting on the couches. 

 

“you guys coming?” he asks, hand already turning the knob. daniel, minhyun, and seongwu have no choice but to get up and follow (if daniel steals four more bottles to bring with them on the journey, no one mentions it). 

 

they decide to walk instead of taking the train. it's a nice night, and not  _ that _ far. daniel holds minhyun’s hand on the way and swings their hands playfully. he’s drunk and  _ happy, _ feeling lighter than he has in a long time.

 

arriving to the house they grew up in, nestled in between two larger buildings, they take a seat across the street on the curb. it’s late, and the neighborhood is quiet. daniel pops open his nth bottle of the night and giggles when the others follow in suit. 

 

“i wonder if mr. han still works here,” seongwu says, clinking his bottle with a  _ ‘cheers!’ _ when prompted. he stares out across the street at the house that looks so much older than he remembers, despite it only being a few years later. 

 

“probably, that bastard is never gonna die,” minhyun pipes up, frown on his face. 

 

“are you  _ still  _ mad he took away your comics when you were like, 11?” sungwoon says, amusement in his voice. 

 

“yes! yes i am, sungwoon!” minhyun exclaims, taking a long swig of his drink. “i never fucking got them back! i paid for them myself!”

 

daniel lets out a loud laugh, body rocking forward and nearly knocking over the drink at his feet. “sungwoonie paid for them, minhyunnie,” he says. “i remember vividly standing next to him at the counter counting out coins.”

 

at this, minhyun sputters, and forces out a  _ ‘whatever! one of us paid for them and i never got them back!’ _ and pouts. he always did hate being proved wrong, daniel thinks. 

 

they go quiet after that, just sitting in silence and drinking. a kid wanders up the street, making his way towards the house the four of them were looking at. the kid looks at the four of them across the street, and then makes their way up the steps quickly. daniel remembers a time much like this one, but in which he was the kid. he laughs softly, and ignores the confused looks from the other three. 

 

“let's get out of here,” he says, standing up and wobbling slightly. he smiles down at sungwoon when the elder reaches out a hand to steady him, and starts making his way down the street. the rest follow in suit, and daniel smiles to himself.

 

they had come a long way from being boys living in an orphanage, daniel thinks. they had come real far,  _ together _ . 

 

———

 

daniel meets guanlin in a seedy alley one night. it was another deal done, and he was on his way home when he passed by an alleyway with suspicious sounds coming out of it. when he peeks in the alley, he sees a tall boy being held up against the brick wall by two large, bald men who are angrily shouting at him, while another digs through a duffle bag tossed on the floor. he recognises the two standing as the ones who beat him up, and he goes to help the kid before the scene in front of him changes very quickly.

 

in a flash, the kid somehow pulls out a switchblade from thin air, digging it into the side of the first man and then into the other one, before pushing them out of the way and kneeing the one crouched down way too roughly in the head, sending him to the ground with the others. he says something in chinese to them, something way too vicious sounding that it even sends a chill down daniel’s spine.

 

he tries to duck out of sight, something in him telling him to  _ turn away now, hurry before he sees _ , and he tries, he really does, but the cold feeling of the blade against his neck has him freezing immediately, sharp edge digging in slightly. the boy was taller than he thought, looming over him in an almost horrifying manner. his movements are silent, slow, way too fast for a normal street kid.

 

“you know, it’s rude to stare.” he says quietly, centimeters away from daniel’s ear. the words send a shiver down his spine, body begging to inch away. the boy tightens his grip, somehow reading his mind.

 

“i-“ daniel stutters, way too loudly for the night.

 

“you what? you’re sorry? should i give you a warning? take away something so you won’t do it again? hmm.” the kid hums, running his hands lightly down daniel’s arms. “how do you like your ear lobe?” 

 

the fact that the kid honest to god giggles after suggesting that ignites a subtle ounce of fear that daniel’s never experienced before. he begins to shake as the kid crowds closer.

 

“i have some friends that might like something too, y’know? people like gifts right? you wanna give them some gifts? you’re too kind. c’mon,  _ daniel _ , let’s go meet my friends.”

 

daniel shoves the kid away, clenching his fists as the kid laughs loudly at the visible fear. “how the fuck do you know my name?”

 

“it’s not hard to. these streets hold no secrets. you’re so, obvious. the downfall to the streets, maybe. do you think this is your turf now? your home game? you got some fucking  _ nerve _ .” he grins, almost terrifyingly, stepping closer. 

 

daniel steps back every time in response, before he’s crowded against the brick wall, the kid standing centimeters away. he gets close to daniel’s face, staring him dead in the eye, looking calm. daniel flinches at the breath across his cheek, shutting his eyes and turning his head to the side.

 

he makes a move to run, only to be stopped by a firm grip to his fist, thumb digging into his pulse point. 

 

“ah, ah, ah,” the kid  _ tsk’s,  _ digging harder, deeper. “no fun in running. i’ll find you anyway. now let’s go see my friends. but remember, harm them, and i’ll cut you up before you can blink again.” 

 

with no choice but to follow, or in this case, be pulled along, he lets the kid pull him deeper into the alleyway.

 

while they walk, the kid hums some popular song he’s heard on the radio, almost seemingly as if he’s on some afternoon walk, rather than basically kidnapping daniel. he attempts to look for his phone, only to realize that he must’ve been nicked of it, probably at the hands of the kid digging his knife into his other wrist to keep him moving.

 

it isn’t long until a normal apartment building comes into view, his kidnapper pushing in a code to open the front door. they walk up to the fourth floor, stopping in front of a door at the end of the hall.

 

when they step in, it’s loud and the lights are on.

 

“i have a friend.” the kid sings into the apartment, forcefully shoving daniel in front of him. “he’s come to give us gifts!”

 

“who is it now?” a voice asks, a lilt to voice.

 

“daniel~” he says cheerily, shoving daniel forward once more with a knife held to his lower back.

 

“you idiot,” another speaks out, “you’re gonna get us caught.”

 

“you seem to forget that this kind of life is petty theft to me. i already told you that no one will fucking get us.” the sudden viciousness sends anxiety through daniel, freezing up again for the millionth time. the quietness in response slightly scares daniel even more.

 

“i know, guanlinie. you’re doing your best, honey, okay? don’t stress.” the first finally speaks, stepping out into the living room. he’s very soft looking, black hair slightly curled and a bit too long. another follows after, the same height as the first and unnatural blonde hair glinting in the light. he had a snaggle tooth, barely sticking out from the lifted corner of his lips.

 

“hello, daniel.” the second one speaks, pulling him away from the kid-  _ guanlin? _ , and onto the couch. “sorry about guanlin. he’s a lil crazy. taiwan does that to you.”

 

guanlin scoffs, pushing himself onto the other kid. he notices the kid grip guanlin’s wrist comfortingly before he glances away at having caught guanlin’s narrowed eyes, shame and guilt burning in his face.

 

“i’m woojin, and that’s jihoon. welcome to our lovely abode.” woojin says, almost cheerily. “it’s been us three for awhile now.”

 

daniel nods understandingly, watching woojin stumble towards guanlin and jihoon almost instinctually.

 

“do you want water?” jihoon finally speaks up. daniel nods again, suddenly aware of the dryness in his mouth, down his throat. he shifts uncomfortably. why were they all being so…  _ accommodating? _

 

jihoon pats guanlin’s cheek, disappearing into the same room he came out of.

 

“can we take his ear lobes now?” guanlin asks, shooting daniel a shark like grin.

 

“no,” woojin says, ruffling guanlin’s hair. he flashes daniel a reassuring smile, and daniel tries his best to give one back.

 

“fucking lame.” guanlin grumbles, pushing off woojin and down another hallway to daniel’s right. he doesn’t notice guanlin coming around behind him, until he speaks into his ear. 

 

“careful now. don’t wanna do anything wrong, do ya?”

 

daniel flinches, and guanlin laughs, disappearing into the dark hall.

 

“ignore him,” woojin says, sitting next to daniel. “he’s just. protective, crazy. me and ji, we’re all he has left. i mean, we’ve been with other people before, but it’s fairly obvious he prioritizes us before the gang. not to say we don’t with him either, because we do, he’s just. extreme. i dunno.”

 

“that's a good way to put it,” jihoon speaks, sitting on the other chair and handing daniel his water. “he’s from taiwan. that shit is like, extreme. always says seoul is like, child’s play. obviously he has trauma, and that’s why woojin and i would do anything for him, because he’s vulnerable and hates that. it’ll take a bit for him to warm up to you, if you hang around. he’s just trying to see how you are by being intense, so don’t take it to heart if he’s mean, or something. he’s seen some shit. a lotta shit. he’s just trying to deal with it. he’s so young…” jihoon falters off, almost worryingly.

 

daniel didn't realize that guanlin was young, but now that he knows, it makes sense. it makes so much sense, and he doesn’t blame him.

 

“he’s 17.” woojin supplies helpfully, painting an even clearer picture for daniel.

 

the fact that he’s fucking  _ seventeen _ scares daniel so  _ much. _ it’s not fair. it’s not fair that guanlin has to live a life like this. daniel knows his isn't much better, but at least he was older when it all started. 

 

guanlin comes back into the room, shooting all of them a look as they watch him, before disappearing out the front door.

 

“he does that a lot.”

 

daniel nods for the millionth time, taking in all the information. “so... how did you guys. um. meet,” daniel shifts again, something thrumming in his chest.

 

“guanlin held a knife to my throat.” jihoon starts with a laugh, more a puff of air than anything else. he places the glass on the coffee table, settling fully into the chair. “i mean, i don’t blame him, but he held a knife to my throat. he had just arrived from taiwan, on some mission from someone he won’t speak about, something with heroin. as you can tell, he has no other upbringing, besides the dirty streets of wherever he wanders, doing stupid shit for cash and evading the cops every goddamn time. he told me he was a sniper for hire, but could do a variety of other things. things that no one, no  _ kid _ should do but he did anyway, cause he was desperate. he dabbled in everything and nothing all at once. could make meth while getting into petty theft like robbery. anyway, i ran into him one night while leaving my house again. i had no good childhood, except for a loving aunt who died months before i even met guanlin. i left like i always did, knowing that either way i’d be back in the morning. 

 

he caught my hand and pulled me into the alley. told me to give him some cash to get on a bus, or he was gonna slit my goddamn throat. i looked at him, and just started crying.” jihoon laughs at the memory, pulling his knees up and fiddling with his sweater sleeves.

 

“even though he held a knife to my throat, i felt so fucking  _ warm _ and  _ safe  _ and in that moment. i knew i was fucked up in someway, somehow, but it felt right, yunno?” jihoon sighs. “it was just us for awhile. at first he was reluctant to teach me anything, but i persuaded him into at least teaching me how to defend myself and now i’m goddamn good at guns, but i don’t think i’ll ever compare to him. we met woojin not long after that.”

 

taking that as his signal to speak, woojin leans forward. “it was the night my dad left me. i mean, i had no mom, no siblings, and i could take care of myself. but he just fucking, i dunno, left. the weeks leading up to that he kept looking at me with this far off look in his eyes, one that i couldn’t explain, and i guess- i think i knew what was gonna happen, but i didn’t wanna say that because- because it’s not cool to tell yourself your father is gonna walk out of your life. when i came home from school, he was tying his shoes, before noticing me. we stared at each other for a long time, and then, he just- he just stood up. kissed my head, whispered i love you and fucking left. he left. and as he did, i let it happen. i think it’s pretty fucked up either way, but i felt. i dunno. comfortable. 

 

i woke to guanlin and jihoon in my living room. guanlin held a knife to my throat, something he does often- if you couldn’t tell- and looked at me with cold, dead, eyes. like he was waiting, expecting something. jihoon stood behind him, a hand on his shoulder.

 

‘kill me’ i had told him, resigning myself to my fate. my father left, and i was going to die. so what else was i able to do?

 

guanlin had narrowed his eyes, turned to jihoon and whispered quietly to him. i think it was in chinese, but i’m not sure. jihoon whispered back, and guanlin had lifted the knife. when he spoke, this kind of, warmness, filled me. and i think i knew i was finally home. we’re kind of a package deal, i guess. you definitely cannot have guanlin without jihoon and i. same thing, in all ways.”

 

the silence that follows is comfortable, and daniel lets it sit for a long time. guanlin comes home, just as daniel is about to speak.

 

“you aren’t very quiet, woojinie.” guanlin says, parading onto the arm of the chair jihoon sits on.

 

“taiwan does some shit to you. you think this life is rough? think that these streets are the worst? well, LA is like seoul, but taipei, now that’s on some shit. my life sucks, but i have woojin and jihoon, so i think i’m okay with this right now. i’d like to keep it that way, though.” guanlin says, a slight warning tone to his words.

 

“i have, uh. i have a friend that i’d like you all to meet.” daniel finally speaks, sending a questioning look towards guanlin. he holds his eyes for a very long time before answering. 

 

“sure, when?” guanlin says, demeanor changing almost instantaneously.

 

by the supporting nods from jihoon and woojin, daniel pulls out his phone from his pocket and  _ huh, when did that get there? _ , before dialing jisung.

———

 

“so logistically, how hard would it be to rob a bank?” daniel asks into the room, laying on his back on the floor. he’s a little tipsy, almost to drunk, surrounded by everyone. all of them had gotten close the past month, after daniel called jisung to introduce him to woojin, jihoon, and guanlin. 

 

“ _ daniel,” _ sungwoon says exasperatedly, all of them having dealt with daniel’s questions the entire night. he’d been asking questions ranging from  _ “is stealing candy from a baby really that bad?”  _ to “ _ what if one day i was to spontaneously lose my mind and commit the most atrocious crimes the country has seen, leaving hundreds dead and even more injured?” _

 

“what! i’m curious!” daniel says, pout on his face as he stares at sungwoon. he looks pretty like this, from the floor, haze of the alcohol making his judgement a  _ little _ less sound. “i just want to know if the me in my head could pull it off.”

 

“daniel you’re  _ not robbing a fucking bank-“ _

 

“it’s not that hard, if you’re smart,” guanlin interrupts, sounding nonchalant. he’s one of the only sober ones in the room, being too young to drink (they all know he’s done much worse than drink  _ alcohol _ , but, morals). he flashes daniel a smile when he looks at him with wide eyes. “you just need a team of the right people. hackers, lookout, snipers. people to do the dirty work. simple,” he explains. 

 

“oh here we fucking go,” seongwu says, groaning. he’s leaning heavily on minhyun, the other boy quiet and eyes scanning the room. he always was a quiet drunk, daniel notes. 

 

“so… so it’s doable. if you’re smart, i mean. you don’t automatically have to hide for the rest of your life,” daniel says, sitting up. he blinks a few times to clear the dizziness from sitting up too fast, and looks to guanlin. “interesting.”

 

“i can hack,” minhyun says after a moment, eyes blinking slowly, sleepily. “i mean logically, all you’d have to do is hack the camera system and the vault, right?”

 

“yeah,” guanlin says, small smile growing on his face. 

 

“me and jinyoungie are good at hiding! and being lookout,” daehwi pipes up excitedly. 

 

seongwu groans, and lets out a ‘ _ i know my way around a gun, i guess,’ _ and woojin and jihoon nod in unison. 

 

“i’m not too bad at planning,” jisung says, shrugging. “you need to be good at it to be a manager.”

 

daniel smiles widely, and looks to sungwoon. “what are you good at sungwoonie?”

 

“i can… make bombs, i guess? it’s not too far off from cooking, right? plus, i always was good at chemistry…” he trails off, shaking his head slightly. this was  _ ridiculous _ , but the longer they talked, the more he wanted to do it. do  _ something.  _

 

daniel looks back to guanlin, and sees something glittering in his eyes. it’s then when he just…  _ knows _ . when he knows tonight is the start of something big, something he’s going to cherish and protect for a long time. 

 

“well, it’s decided then,” guanlin says, standing up. woojin and jihoon follow in suit, making their way to the door. “see you guys tomorrow for planning!” he throws over his shoulder, closing the door behind him. 

 

“ _ cool,” _ daniel breathes out, flopping back down on the floor. “we’re gonna be so fucking cool, you know?”

 

“sure, niel,” everyone choruses back, seongwu letting out small giggles against minhyun’s side. 

 

they were a real gang now, a real  _ family.  _ it just felt-  _ right _ . 

  
  


———

 

he feels like he’s gonna puke. his nerves run high, speeding in his body at lightning speed, circling, circling, never stopping. too fast, too fast,  _ too fast. _ he pants heavily, clutching the gun hilt against his chest as a figure darts in and out of the shadows, almost monster like-  _ guanlin. _ he’s like, the boogeyman, kinda. a nightmarish creature of tall stature, daniel thinks, before shaking his head because now is not the time to compare your friends to the boogeyman.

 

the gunshots echoing distantly ring in his ears, way too loudly, and the anxiety buzzing through him is  _ electric _ . a hitch of a breath catches his attention, head snapping to the right as quietly as he can. a figure stumbles into the room, landing roughly on their knees, choking out a breath. he groans painfully, something that seizes daniel from the inside that has him shaking, something that’s  _ too real. _

 

he shakily raises his gun, and pulls the trigger. it was quick, clean almost, save for the splatter on the back walls, and his stomach lurches violently. he didn’t know the man, didn’t know who he was, or what he was like, and he’d never know now that he lays dead on a warehouse floor. seeing his face settles something cold into the electrified buzzing of his nerves, something that makes him take a shuddering deep breath and he marches forward, into the dark.

 

the gunshots are louder. ear piercing, horrifying,  _ loud.  _ they make the air feel heavy, as if he was dragging his body weight down the hall. the open space of the warehouse seems larger in the dark, moonlight shining very particularly, almost eerily quiet in between each shot.

 

daniel tiptoes, watching a figure slide across the space almost inhumanly. he hears the hitch of a breath, a slice of the air across something that results in a body slumping forward, blood racing down the body of the person that glows in the light in some fucked up form of  _ holiness _ that squirms in daniel, like some sort of leech. 

 

he doesn’t have time to question his morals, not as the supposed kingpin is being frogmarched by guanlin who’s holding onto his wrists so tightly that it even makes daniel flinch.

 

guanlin whispers something in chinese to him, sounding eerily like the same words he spoke in the alley, enjoying the full body shudder the man gives for the pure viciousness and horror in guanlin’s voice. he doesn’t blame him, the kid is scary.

 

“hey niel,” guanlin smiles toothily, seemingly out of place yet perfectly  _ him _ . “our friend here tried to hurt wooj, just thought i’d finally show you what i mean.”

 

at first, the guy looked- well- like a guy. but now, when daniel  _ really  _ looks, he sees something absolutely wrong. it’s times like this that daniel remembers guanlin isn’t new to this whole thing, remembers that guanlin knows this shit just like he knows his name, and he pats himself on the back for choosing such a good wildcard before he starts doubting himself.

 

the ear is missing some parts to the shell, he only counts 8 fingers, and he pointedly ignores the  _ hole _ in the shoulder, instead focusing on guanlin’s radiating smile. 

 

“he’s got some secrets, niel, i think you’re gonna like this,” guanlin grins, shoving a lollipop into his mouth.

 

daniel is surrounded by so much  _ cash _ a few minutes later, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. the vault isn’t that big, but it's packing and daniel _ really _ should’ve brought more duffle bags at jisung’s request.

 

he fills the bag with as much as he can carry, tugging more into the waiting hands of jinyoung and daehwi, nodding at guanlin to call up minhyun.

 

they sprint down the hall, dodging the dead bodies and slamming into the wide doors outside where a van sits. the police sirens in the distance grow louder, and the buzzing in daniel makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as a cop drifts violently into the alleyway.

 

“ah fuck!” daniel curses, dropping a bag on the floor, causing the cash to fall out. “go! go!” he waves, shooing the boys into the van.

 

“niel?”

 

“ _ go.”  _ he commands, as the door behind him slams open, guanlin landing on his knees with a resounding ‘ _ smack _ ’. he begins to pick up all the bills, ignoring the intense stares of woojin and jihoon.

 

he says something in chinese, causing jihoon to roll his eyes and slam the door closed. daniel nods firmly at minhyun’s hesitant nod, watching as minhyun slams the acceleration, shooting forward into the street. 

 

guanlin shoots the cop tires behind them, giving them enough time to run into the busy street. he honest to god  _ laughs _ , daniel ignoring the chill from the pure joy in it to find a vehicle,  _ anything _ .

 

a nice 4 seater sits in a parking spot, and he catches sight of a nice young man before tugging guanlin forward.

 

he pulls the door handles open, pulling out his pistol in one swift motion.

 

“ _ drive.”  _ he hisses, placing the barrel onto the kid’s temple.

 

“woah buddy! hold on!” the guy scrambles, starting the car and sending it into drive. “can’t you buy a guy some dinner first? we’re going way too fast.”

 

guanlin narrows his eyes at him, most likely whispering an insult daniel can’t understand.

 

“haha.” the guy laughs nervously, gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turn white. “so, welcome to uber, where do you wanna go?” he turns the car right while daniel watches the police speed by, sirens blaring.

 

daniel gives him an address, sitting comfortably against the seat. he takes the time to decompress, closing his eyes as a wave of tiredness hits him. the drive is somewhat silent, guanlin tapping away on his phone, most likely texting woojin and jihoon.

 

“so uh. we’re...here. wherever this is.”

 

daniel nods as guanlin gets out silently, slipping into the shadows.

 

“what's your name?” daniel asks, ducking his head back into the car before he fully leaves.

 

“uh. jaehwan. kim jaehwan. i like beef?” he grins awkwardly.

 

“keep an eye out, kim jaehwan.”

 

then, he walks off, into the dark where guanlin awaits him.

 

“you know what this means, right?” guanlin mumbles sleepily. daniel realises he’s never seen this side of him before, and  _ huh _ , he’s goddamn cute. his age was truly showing now, and daniel wanted to do nothing more than protect him, no matter how silly it seemed.

 

“yes, linnie. it means he’s on board.” daniel pats his head, letting it sit there as guanlin leans into the touch.

 

“can i mentor him?” he asks moments later, a shark like grin gracing his face.

 

“sure buddy, just don’t go all crazy on him.” daniel says with a laugh, following guanlin into the building where the rest of their gang awaited.

 

———

 

daniel thinks he's going fucking crazy. its after their first heist, when he’s still high on endorphins, when he's sitting on the living room couch reflecting that he realizes he  _ has  _ to be going insane. that the rush of the heist has ruined some fundamental connection in his brain, fucked up the wiring, and left him out to dry. 

 

he can’t stop thinking about sungwoon. sungwoon- ha sungwoon, his tiny best friend, the person he spent 11 years sharing a bed with, the person who protected him from day one. 

 

they were friends. best fucking friends. 

 

yet daniel can’t stop thinking about him. now, daniel- daniel isn’t as dense as seongwu likes to tease him for. he knows this isn’t- this isn’t  _ normal _ . you don’t just continuously think about your best friends, unable to get them off your mind, unable to stop thinking about their smile or gentle hands in your hair during a moment of peace and quiet. 

 

sitting there, on that couch in their living room ( _ their- him and sungwoon’s, minhyun and seongwu only across the hallway, the others a door or two away) _ , daniel decides he’s going to pack his feelings into a box, wrap it up in a neat little bow, and shove it somewhere  _ far, far _ into the back of his fucking brain. 

 

he pretends he doesn't flinch when sungwoon sits down heavily next to him, grin stretched across his face, no doubt feeling the same endorphins as daniel was before his realization. 

 

“dude, that was fucking amazing,” sungwoon says, voice just a little too loud and verging on hysterical. daniel understands perfectly. “no like- that was  _ amazing.” _

 

“and you used to get mad at me for doing petty stuff like selling drugs,” daniel tries to joke, voice falling a little flat. he couldn’t even  _ look _ at sungwoon. “now you’re getting high off full blown heists.”

 

“hey,” sungwoon says, voice going quiet, concern etched into his voice. “hey, what’s wrong? did it not go the way you hoped? i know we got split up for a little while but, it went fine, didn’t it?”

 

daniel shakes his head slightly, staring down at his hands. “it went perfect, sungwoonie. i think i’m just tired, crashing after a high,” he begs off, feeling his heart rate pick up slightly when he feels sungwoon reach over to press the back of his hand to daniel’s forehead for good measure. 

 

“you should sleep,” sungwoon says gently, still sounding concerned. “it is late, after all. you did well today, you deserve sleep.”

 

daniel tries to pretend he doesn’t want to scream at sungwoon’s words.  _ you deserve it, you did well _ . pressing his lips tightly together in what can only be described as a grimace rather than the smile he was aiming for, daniel nods and pushes off the couch, making his way to his room. 

 

he hesitates when sungwoon calls out a timid and confused ‘ _ goodnight!’, _ no doubt the same confusion in his voice written across his face. daniel raises a hand above his head in a way of return and mentally curses at himself for being so fucking  _ stupid _ , pushing open his bedroom door with little care. 

 

if he has a nightmare that night and wakes up to knowing looks from sungwoon, neither of them mention it. 

 

———

 

“i told them- i fucking  _ told them _ , seven fifteen sharp. where the  _ fuck-“ _

 

“calm down, niel, they’re walking down the stairs now,” seongwu interrupts, squinting slightly as the early morning sun beats down on them. 

 

“hey boss!” jihoon chirps, way too fucking happy to be awake this early. woojin is the only one who looks like he has a brain, frowning and still sleep ruffled. 

 

“i said- i fucking said seven fifteen. its-“ daniel checks his watch. glares at jihoon, woojin, and guanlin. “seven twenty-fucking-six. why can’t you guys follow directions? do i need to hire a fucking maid to wake you up in the morning?”

 

“what's wrong, boss? didn’t get fucked good enough last night?” woojin mumbles out, annoyance coloring his voice. it’s not like they had to be anywhere important, anywhere that required time as a factor. if they did, daniel would’ve told them, but he  _ didn’t _ , so woojin didn’t understand the annoyance coming from daniel. 

 

“what the  _ fuck did you just s-“ _

 

“daniel.” sungwoon pipes up from somewhere behind him, hand reaching out to his shoulder the second daniel takes a step forward. daniel straightens up as soon as sungwoon touches him, like he’s some kind of trained dog, mouth snapping shut. he ignores the snigger from woojin at his reaction. 

 

pinching the bridge of his nose to release some of the pent up tension, daniel growls out a ‘ _ don’t be fucking late again,’ _ and starts walking. the rest follow in suit, chattering starting up as they continue to their destination. 

 

“what’re we doing today?” daehwi says, skipping along next to daniel like he doesn’t know daniel is in a pissed off mood already. “is it something fun? guns? ooo, or or  _ or _ are we meeting new people?”

 

“no, daehwi,” daniel says, not looking at the younger. he felt off kilter and  _ weird _ after his dream last night, so things not going to plan this morning just- set him off. “we’re not doing anything with guns, and definitely not meeting new people. if we were, you wouldn’t be coming.”

 

at this, daehwi pouts, letting out a  _ ‘you’re no fun today,’ _ and falls behind to walk with jinyoung. daniel mentally agrees. being a gang leader and being fun didn’t normally go hand in hand. 

 

he ignores the concerned looks sungwoon keeps giving him from next to him, and visibly relaxes -if even by a fraction- at the hand that comes up to rub his back as they walk. seongwu and jaehwan sing-song a ‘ _ lovebirds!’ _ behind them, and they fire back a ‘ _ we’re not lovebirds!’  _ in unison like they’re teenagers again. 

 

arriving to their destination, daniel feels a weight lift off his shoulders, if only slightly. 

 

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” daniel hears woojin pipe up from behind him as soon as he realizes where they are. “you took us on some crack-of-dawn fucking field trip to  _ jisung’s cafe?” _

 

_ “ _ woojin, i swear to god, one more word out of you and i’ll make  _ sure _ you get shot next heist,” daniel growls out, pushing open the doors and causing the chimes to jingle. he gets the attention of the few customers in the cafe this early, and smiles pleasantly. 

 

“basement ready?” daniel asks jisung from across the counter, checking his watch again. seven thirty on the dot. perfect. 

 

“ready!” jisung says happily, turning to one of his many employees and telling them to take over. leading the gang down to the basement, jisung tells them there's coffee and pastries when they get down there. he laughs at the happy  _ ‘croissants!’ _ guanlin lets out and flicks on the lights. 

 

and well, it looks exactly like a basement, except there’s a giant table enough to fit all 11 of them smack dab in the center of the room. daniel takes a seat at the head of the table, sungwoon and jisung off to his left, minhyun and seongwu to his right. he waits until everyone else is seated  _ (and guanlin has his croissants) _ before saying anything. 

 

“so,” daniel says, pulling out a folded up piece of paper and placing it on the table. “so.”

 

“so?” jaehwan pipes up from down the table, head leaning on jisung comfortably. he looked content and happy, and daniel smiled at him warmly. 

 

“so,” daniel repeats, unfolding the paper. it looked to be- a contract, of some kind. everyone’s heads craned towards the head of the table in curiosity. “you guys know that skyscraper off main? the really fucking tall glass one they just built?”

 

at the answering nods, daniel smooths his hands over the paper and holds it up. “well, motherfuckers, we own the goddamn penthouse.”

 

he expects the ‘ _ huh’ _ s and  _ ‘no way what the fuck’ _ s, and smiles proudly to himself. he hands over the contract to sungwoon when he reaches for it, and smiles even wider when sungwoon looks up at him with glittering eyes. he tries to ignore the fluttering in his chest. 

 

“you’re for real?” sungwoon says, excitement barely contained in his voice. 

 

“100%,” daniel responds, sitting back in his chair with a smile. “we have a month until we can move in, but i've been waiting weeks to tell you guys. there's enough rooms for anyone who wants one, and the basement parking garage is ours too. any cars you guys want, you can have.”

 

“holy shit,” woojin says, finally looking awake and alert and no longer pissed off. “boss, you’re- you’re forreal the fucking best right now.”

 

daniel can’t stop  _ smiling,  _ the rest of the members voicing their excitement as well. he accepts the long hug from sungwoon happily, and overhears chatter of how the others want their rooms decorated. he wraps up the relatively short meeting with a ‘ _ start packing!’ _ and feels on top of the world. 

 

“daniel,” minhyun says, and daniel suddenly realizes minhyun was the only one who didn’t speak before. “daniel… why didn’t you talk to me about this beforehand?”

 

“i wanted it to be a surprise!” daniel says, smile still on his face. he was convinced nothing could bring him down. 

 

“i know but- but i should be that  _ exception _ , i deal with all our finances. and while we had  _ enough,  _ we’re going to need to plan something big next time to make up for it. you know that, right?” minhyun responds, eyes narrowing slightly as if he was planning just  _ how  _ big. 

 

“i know but-“

 

“daniel, just- talk to me next time,” minhyun interrupts disapprovingly, shaking his head slightly. daniel felt like a scolded child who had their favorite toy taken away, and he was evidently wrong before, as his mood feels worse than it did five seconds ago. 

 

he hangs his head dejectedly, and makes his way back to his and sungwoon’s apartment alone, despite the call out from sungwoon himself before he leaves. 

 

———

 

it’s after a long day of meetings upon meetings and run throughs of possible heists when daniel becomes more confused than ever. 

 

he’s laying on the couch, eyes mindlessly wandering around the room with no real purpose. he’s  _ exhausted, _ mentally and physically, but he can’t find it in himself to actually sleep. 

 

he lets his mind wander, lets thoughts come and go like the ebb and flow of an ocean, and somehow ends up back to sungwoon. he shouldn’t be surprised, at this point, but part of him is. 

 

he’d been doing pretty well at keeping his feelings for the elder at bay, making sure he wasn’t too distant but just  _ enough _ to keep his sanity. he realizes this has stemmed past a crush, has morphed into something else entirely. daniel wonders deep down if there’d  _ ever _ be a chance, and mentally shakes his head to clear the thought. not there, not now. 

 

as if on cue, sungwoon makes his way out of his room, letting out a soft ‘ _ oh!’ _ when he realizes daniel is laying on the couch. “i didn’t know you’d be home already,” he says softly, making his way over to where daniel was. taking a seat on the arm of the couch, sungwoon looks down at daniel and frowns. 

 

“what?” daniel asks, not liking the look on the elders face directed at  _ him.  _

 

sungwoon reaches out, parting daniel’s hair off his forehead with all the care in the world (like daniel is breakable, fragile) and says, “you look exhausted. was today okay?”

 

and- and daniel’s heart won't stop racing. it’s going a mile a minute, until he’s convinced he’s going to pass out. somewhere in between, he remembers to take a breath, and curses for how shuddery it comes out. he hopes sungwoon doesn’t notice. 

 

“it- it was okay,” daniel says, voice barely above a whisper. he was hypertuned in to anything sungwoon was doing, every body movement and rustle of hair on his head. “tiring. business people are tiring.”

 

at this sungwoon honest to god giggles, and daniel feels like melting. “you could’ve asked me to come with, i’m better at business than you are,” he says, voice light and happy. 

 

daniel smiles without realizing, feeling better the longer he’s talking to sungwoon. “that’s true i suppose,” he responds, letting out a puff of air that’s close to a laugh. he practically preens when sungwoon’s hand moves to run through his hair fully. “you could’ve impressed them with your good looks and even better vocabulary. bet they would’ve been super impressed by all the ‘ _ fuck’ _ s.”

 

sungwoon laughs, full body rocking forward, and lightly hits daniel’s head. “shut up, i can be professional when i want to be. plus, you’re the one with the good looks between us, i’m surprised they didn’t wanna come home with you.”

 

daniel can’t stop  _ smiling _ , and decidedly doesn’t think about how they’re  _ almost _ flirting. “who says they didn’t?” he asks with a grin, looking up at sungwoon. he almost misses a flash of  _ something _ across sungwoon’s face, and mentally reminds himself to think about what that could mean later. 

 

it’s another 20 minutes of their back and forth, with sungwoon still running his fingers through daniel’s hair, when daniel can barely keep his eyes open. he’s consistently nodding off, then startling awake again when sungwoon has something else to add. 

 

“c’mon, lets go to bed,” sungwoon says, voice going back to soft and gentle. daniel’s heart rate picks up again, and leans into sungwoon’s hand when he rests it on his head. he doesn’t say ‘lets get  _ you _ to bed,’ just- lets go to bed. like this is normal for them, like they’re teenagers again and daniel is still sleeping with sungwoon. 

 

daniel sits up with a soft groan when sungwoon stands up, and accepts the hand sungwoon offers him. following along behind the elder ( _ still holding hands- what the fuck _ ) he just accepts they’ll be sleeping together tonight. it’s the first time in a long time since they’ve done this, daniel realizes. 

 

flopping down face first onto sungwoon’s bed the second they get into his room ( _ his his his, everything smells like him _ ), daniel almost immediately passes out. he honestly  _ is _ exhausted. 

 

“absolutely not,” he hears sungwoon say from the middle of the room. “you are  _ not _ sleeping in dress pants and a button up.”

 

daniel groans out a  _ ‘but i’m tired,’ _ and whines when sungwoon pushes at his shoulder to prompt him to roll over. he expects sungwoon to pull him up and force him to get undressed himself, but freezes when he feels deft fingers working the top of his shirt open. 

 

daniel manages to croak out a ‘ _ what are you doing, i’m not five,’ _ and tries to sit up himself, but is evidently just pushed down by sungwoon. he gets a  _ ‘you’re tired, just let me,’ _ in return, and mentally prays to any god listening for mercy. yet, because he's daniel, and hopelessly in love with sungwoon, he listens and stays still. he can’t help but think about this in another situation, and immediately shakes his head to clear the thought.  _ absolutely _ not now. 

 

daniel  _ wishes _ sungwoon would make quick work of his shirt, but he’s treating each and every button like its glass, apparently. daniel manages a look at sungwoon’s face, and he looks calm and collected, tongue peeking slightly out of the corner of his mouth. everything feels so  _ intimate,  _ with the soft glow of sungwoon’s bedside lamp in contrast with the darkness outside, with sungwoon looking soft and sleepy as well, hair fluffy and freshly washed, and the whole situation just feels like- too much. too domestic for daniel’s brain to process right now.

 

once he’s done with daniel’s shirt and the younger is shrugged out of it, he moves onto his pants, and daniel freaks out a little. 

 

“i got it from here,” daniel says quickly, voice a little higher pitched than he meant for it to be, hands batting sungwoon’s out of the way despite his protest. making quick work of his belt and pants button (he hopes sungwoon can’t see his hands shaking), he slips out of them and immediately gets back into sungwoon’s bed. he feels like he ran a marathon with the way his heart is beating. 

 

sungwoon slips in beside him, and daniel is mentally grateful his bed is bigger than the one they used to share. no longer any need to be pressed up against each other like their lives depended on it anymore. 

 

sungwoon apparently has other ideas though, as he moves close enough so daniel can feel small puffs of air on his collarbone. a hand moves to his back, fingers tracing patterns daniel can’t keep up with. while under any normal circumstances daniel would be panicking, his body is too tired to indulge him right now, and he melts into the bed. 

 

“what’re- what’re you doing,” daniel asks sleepily, feeling as if the question was valid. he didn’t understand any of the events from tonight, if he was being honest. 

 

“helping you fall asleep,” sungwoon responds, sounding far too awake for daniel’s comfort. “just sleep, niel.”

 

“‘kay,” daniel says after a beat, yawn interrupting half his reply. he feels sungwoon shift, and then a warm press of  _ something _ (that can’t be his lips- it  _ can’t)  _ to his forehead. he hears a whispered ‘ _ goodnight,’ _ and falls asleep directly after. 

 

in the morning, he’ll remember the kiss and freak out (and be confused as to what it  _ means) _ , but for now, he sleeps. 

 

———

 

daniel thinks a lot about telling sungwoon. about telling him he’s in love with him, about how he’s been suffering for months, about how  _ tired  _ he is. 

 

about how he just wants to be able to hold him, and kiss him whenever he wants, about how he wants to be able to look at sungwoon again and think ‘ _ mine’ _ and not be lying. 

 

but he knows it's dangerous, knows having strong emotional connections are  _ dangerous _ in this industry, always a target if someone was pissed off enough. he was already risking it even being best  _ friends _ with sungwoon, minhyun, and seongwu. if anyone caught wave of their connection to each other, he’d be fucked.

 

and daniel, daniel is terrified. he's absolutely terrified of telling sungwoon, of being rejected, of the soft  _ ‘niel, you’re like my little brother,’ _ he can already hear. he knows the cards aren’t in his favor, rarely ever are when it comes to sungwoon. 

 

he shoves his thoughts back into the tiny box labeled ‘ _ fuck up incoming,’ _ and tries to forget about tiny boys with big smiles and even bigger hearts. he goes about his days like normal, and tries to just  _ forget. _

 

it’s two weeks before they move in that daniel realizes he can’t keep this up any longer. 

 

he can’t keep pretending he’s not in love with sungwoon. he can’t keep walking around, accepting small touches from sungwoon like it means nothing. like he doesn’t want it to mean  _ something.  _

 

he can’t help but start distancing himself, getting cold whenever sungwoon touches him, going out more like hes 18 again and going through a phase. 

 

it’s only a matter of time before sungwoon corners him, sits him down like he's four and did something bad, and demands he talks. 

 

“i just don’t get it,” sungwoon says, sitting on the opposite couch to daniel. “up until the first heist you were so touchy feely with me. we were sleeping together like we were 12 again, even  _ if _ you still fucking kicked me. ever since then you’ve been weird. what changed?”

 

and maybe, maybe if sungwoon was less dense daniel would be extremely nervous. like, no one can deny he’s sweating under his collar and shifting around uncomfortably, but at least he’s not having a full blown panic attack in the middle of the afternoon.  _ that _ would be embarrassing. 

 

“it’s- it’s really nothing. i’ve just been stressed over gang stuff, really,” daniel says, wiping his hands on his pants as discreetly as possible. really, why  _ was _ it so hot in here?

 

“okay, but i refuse to accept that,” sungwoon says simply, crossing his arms over his chest. “when you’re stressed you crave affection more than a sleepy minhyun. don’t try and bullshit me when i’ve known you for this long.”

 

daniel knows he's cornered. even now, he can’t look sungwoon in the eyes, too afraid of  _ feeling _ . he never had been good at his emotions- hiding them, or feeling them for that matter. every emotion he’d ever had was written on his face for anyone to see, even if inside he was desperately pushing them away into tiny mismatched, mislabeled boxes. 

 

really, it comes out before he can even stop himself. 

 

“i'm in love with you,” is what pops out, daniel immediately going stock still like he was a rabbit in the face of a predator. there are a myriad of thoughts running through his brain, too fast for him to keep up in the slightest. he knows he fucked up. he fucked up  _ big time.  _

 

“oh  _ niel _ ,” sungwoon says, something flickering across his face daniel can’t name. it looks too close to an emotion that has an uncomfortable feeling settling in daniel’s chest. 

 

“don’t- don’t do that,” daniel says, feeling a sting in his chest. he tried to remember how to breathe. he would  _ not _ break down in front of sungwoon. he wouldn’t. 

 

“niel- it’s not that you’re not great it’s just- it’s so risky. you have to know that. you have to know how it would only be a matter of time before people found out and something bad could happen and-“

 

“and just say you don’t feel the same, sungwoon,” daniel says, voice more biting and harsh than he meant it to be in a way of defense. the stinging wouldn’t stop, felt like sungwoon planted a tree in his heart and  _ pulled _ on it. “it’s not that hard,” he forces out. 

 

“i don’t feel the same,” sungwoon says softly and hesitantly. the look is back on his face, the one daniel can’t name, and he really might end up breaking down despite all his efforts not to. the sting in his chest has changed into a full bloom, an entire goddamn oak tree sprouting up right in his heart. it  _ hurts.  _

 

daniel pretends that all the gentle touches, all the nights sungwoon let him sleep with him even now when they’re all grown up, all the looks sungwoon gave him that seemed to be reserved just for him didn’t exist. he pretends he made them up, pretends he was just being a dumb kid. it hurts less this way, he manages to convince himself. 

 

in the end, his body decides for him and he's curling forward before he can stop himself. he can’t hide the little shaking of his shoulders, but he can hide his tears, face buried securely between his hands. 

 

“niel,” sungwoon breathes out, and even now it was soft and full of care, of  _ love _ . daniel realizes now it was just a different kind of love, apparently. he reaches out for daniel, and frowns when he shrugs off sungwoon’s hand harshly. “niel, i-“

 

and then there's a knock at their door and a yelled  _ ‘boss! we need you!’  _ from jihoon, and daniel freezes. he very slowly, very carefully sits up, wipes his eyes with the back of his sleeve despite the tissue sungwoon is offering him, breathes a few times until it comes clear rather than congested. he manages to call out a  _ ‘be right there!’  _ to jihoon without his voice cracking. 

 

he refuses to look at sungwoon as he gets up, and just prays no one will be able to tell he was crying. 

 

———

 

minhyun finds out, because he's minhyun, and seongwu soon follows after. 

 

and truthfully, daniel’s surprised everyone  _ else _ hasn’t figured it out ( _ or maybe they have, with woojin’s hissed ‘lovebird drama’ at one of their meetings, sounding eerily like a 15 year old seongwu. him and sungwoon don’t fire back in unison this time) _ , considering how distant him and sungwoon have been. 

 

the small touches, the back hugs, the teasing only sungwoon was able to give daniel, had all stopped almost over night. there were times when daniel would see sungwoon reach out for him out of the corner of his eye, but ultimately he never connected. daniel’s chest  _ ached _ . 

 

minhyun corners him one afternoon, three days before they’re set to move in. daniel is unbelievably stressed, making sure everything is  _ perfect _ , making sure everyone’s rooms were the way they wanted them. he felt more like an interior designer than a gang leader, lately. 

 

“niel, can we talk?” minhyun says, grabbing daniel’s elbow gently and leading him away to one of the many secluded rooms, from where he was talking to an  _ actual  _ interior designer. he really wasn’t giving daniel much of an option to say  _ no.  _

 

“huh?” daniel responds intelligently, truly not sure what minhyun could need to talk about with him right this second. his eyes follow minhyun as he closes the door, and his head tilts in confusion. “i mean, i guess, whats up?”

 

minhyun hesitates for a minute, biting his lip, and daniel gets nervous. minhyun was never one to stall, or think over his words carefully before saying them. he just always knew what to say perfectly, on the spot. “so… you and sungwoon,” is what he chooses to start with, and with it daniel feels like ice has flooded his veins. 

 

“me… me and sungwoon?” daniel responds, mind a little fuzzy and heart starting to beat faster. it was amazing how fast his mood could change with just the mention of one name. 

 

“you guys have been… different,” minhyun says slowly, cautiously. like he didn’t know how to say what he really wanted. 

 

“not really,” daniel says, nervous laugh coming out without him meaning to. “we’re fine, what do you mean?” he says, a little hysterical, voice a little too loud for the situation. he was panicking. 

 

“you’re at my apartment more than your own, and you’ve completely taken over my bed. not to mention, any time sungwoon even gets  _ close _ to you, you freeze up and stutter like your head isn't screwed on right. like you’re  _ scared,” _ minhyun says with a frown, stepping closer to wrap his arms around daniel’s waist. skinship always did come easy to the four of them, daniel realizes. 

 

feeling like his entire body was deflated in an instant, daniel leans his forehead on minhyun’s shoulder and lets out a long sigh. “i fucked up,” is all he offers. 

 

minhyun lets out an unhappy noise, and rubs daniel’s back in slow circles. “how so?” he says softly, frown on his face despite daniel not being able to see it. 

 

“i- i told sungwoon-“ daniel tries, and freezes up. he’s never actually said it outloud, that he loves sungwoon, that he wants anything romantic from him. it’s  _ terrifying _ , even if it’s just minhyun. 

 

“told sungwoon?” minhyun prompts gently, hand pausing on daniel’s back. he had a feeling he knew where this was going, but waited patiently for daniel to reply. 

 

“told him i’m in love with him,” daniel says softly, almost inaudibly. he feels so  _ stupid,  _ because of  _ course _ sungwoon would never feel the same way back. of  _ course.  _ they were best friends and daniel should’ve  _ known _ they’d be nothing more. “it obviously didn’t go well.”

 

at daniel’s words, minhyun sighs softly, hand resuming it’s calming pattern on daniel’s back. he kisses the side of daniel’s head softly, and tilts his head so he can rest it against the younger’s. “when’d you figure it out?” he asks, voice soft. 

 

“night after the first heist,” daniel says, hands flexing in their grip on minhyun’s shirt. “did you know?”

 

“i had a feeling,” minhyun responds. “you guys were being a little… extra for a while. i’m sorry it didn’t go well, niel.”

 

daniel sighs, suffering. ever since he told sungwoon, he couldn’t wrap his head around why everything  _ seemed _ so mutual, yet apparently wasn’t at all. “i’ll get over it eventually,” he says, sighing again. 

 

they stay like that for a while, just standing in an empty room and hugging. daniel is eternally grateful he has minhyun. 

 

seongwu’s conversation with him goes much like minhyun’s. it’s around 4am ( _ he’d slept at minhyun and seongwu’s again, minhyun holding him tight all night) _ when daniel is unable to sleep any longer. he decides to go make coffee, slipping out from a sleeping minhyun’s grip as gently as he can. 

 

making his way to the kitchen and trying to be as quiet as possible, daniel thinks about sungwoon. he wonders what the elder is doing right now, if he’s sleeping soundly across the hall or up like him. putting a coffee pod into the machine, daniel sighs. despite how much his chest ached any time he saw sungwoon now, he  _ missed _ him. missed all the little touches and casual banter, missed just being around him in general. 

 

he’s snapped out of his thoughts when a pair of arms wrap around his waist from behind and a chin makes its home on his shoulder. 

 

“what’re you doing up,” seongwu says, voice deeper than usual and still full of sleep. 

 

“couldn’t sleep anymore,” daniel says softly, fingers coming up to tap along where seongwu’s were wound around his middle. “thinking too much,” he offers as an explanation. “why are  _ you _ up?”

 

“sixth sense told me the baby was distressed,” seongwu says, mouth quirking up slightly. he yawns, and shuffles even closer to daniel. “minhyunnie told me what happened.”

 

daniel sighs, and takes his coffee mug from under the stand. nodding and moving to make another when seongwu asks for a cup, daniel says, “it’s whatever, honestly.”

 

“but it hurts, no?” seongwu asks gently, flipping around one of his hands so he can intertwine it with daniel’s and squeeze it slightly in reassurance. “if it hurts then it's not whatever.”

 

“i guess so,” daniel says, staring as the coffee drips into the mug below. taking a sip of his own, daniel mulls over his next question for a second before asking. “did it- did it seem mutual? like at all?” 

 

“honestly? yeah,” seongwu responds, brows furrowing. “that's why i think me and minhyun are so confused with him right now. because like- there’s a difference in how we treat you and how  _ he  _ treats you. sure, we’re all a little weird and touchy feely in general but he- it’s the way he looks at you sometimes. like you own all the stars in the night sky or something. that’s what made me think there was something going on.”

 

and daniel- daniel feels like he can't breathe. any part of him that was convinced he’d made all the mutualness up, all the loving looks and small gestures, was now confused. so it  _ wasn’t  _ just him, it was seongwu and minhyun as well, the two other people who knew sungwoon best. 

 

“i mean, if he said he doesn’t feel the same way, who am i to say he doesn’t actually feel that way,” seongwu continues, biting his lip. “it’s just weird, in my opinion.”

 

detangling himself from seongwu and handing the elder his coffee, daniel tilts his head back to look at the ceiling. “i didn’t even want to tell him, you know,” he says, sighing softly. “i thought about it, for a long time. the pros and cons, what could go wrong, how he would react. i think i went through every scenario, yet nothing felt as bad as the real thing.”

 

“you know, i told minhyun i loved him once,” seongwu says after a while, coffee mug close to his lips. he’s staring into the distance, like he’s remembering, and daniel tilts his head in confusion. “we were sixteen, and he told me i didn’t know what love was. so typical,” he says with a laugh, mouth quirking up at the corner. 

 

“i didn’t know you…”

 

“yeah,” seongwu interrupts, eyes finally meeting daniel’s. when they do, he smiles. “he was right, of course, but nothing’s changed either.”

 

“you should try again,” daniel says after a while. “if nothing’s changed, you should really try again.”

 

seongwu’s smile doesn’t falter when he lets out a soft ‘ _ maybe,’ _ taking a sip of his coffee. “everything with you and sungwoon will get better, nielie,” seongwu says, voice sounding so certain and hopeful. 

 

moving to wash his mug, daniel is inclined to believe him and says a soft  _ ‘i hope so.’ _ letting out a yawn, he stretches and goes to move to the couch, not wanting to disturb minhyun by re-joining him in bed. 

 

“go sleep in my room if you don’t want to bother minhyun,” seongwu says, frown on his face. “that couch is horrible.”

 

letting out a laugh, daniel stops and turns around, making his way down the hall. he waves behind him when he hears the soft ‘ _ i’ll be there in a second,’ _ from seongwu. 

 

despite all the bickering they used to do as kids, daniel was eternally grateful to have minhyun  _ and  _ seongwu in his life. 

 

———

 

it’s a month into living at the penthouse, a month into sleeping alone in the biggest room in the place, a month into waking up sweaty and heart pounding every night, that daniel decides he’s had enough. he groans as he gets up, body still shaky and sweaty from the dream he just woke up from, and makes his way to the other side of the penthouse. moving to slide open the glass doors to the balcony, daniel steps out into the chilly air and sighs. he leans against the railing, looking out into the city, looking out at everything he's worked for to end up here. 

 

“pretty, isn’t it?” a voice says from behind him, effectively startling daniel. he feels like he hasn’t heard that voice in months, when it’s only been weeks. 

 

“fuck sorry i- i didn’t know you were out here,” daniel says, turning towards where sungwoon was sitting. he had a blanket wrapped around himself, curled up in one of the deck chairs. he wasn’t looking at daniel, but rather out across the skyline. daniel goes to leave, and with it feels a grip on his wrist from sungwoon himself. daniel stops dead in his tracks. 

 

“i talked to minhyun. or rather, minhyun yelled at me,” he says, fingers wrapping around so they were against daniel’s pulse point. he feels how fast daniel’s heart rate is and sighs, finally moving his head so he can look at daniel. “are you nervous?”

 

“no,” daniel lies, even though he knows sungwoon knows the answer anyway. sungwoon doesn’t bother to call him out. curious, he asks, “minhyun?”

 

“yeah, minhyun. and seongwu too, kinda. he was standing in the doorway as minhyun got all protective over you. i don’t blame him. i hurt the baby, after all,” sungwoon says, voice amused yet sad. daniel doesn’t respond. “i miss you, niel,” he says after a while, voice quiet. 

 

“did you- did you really mean what you said? on that day?” daniel asks softly, voice unable to go higher even if he wanted it to. he watches sungwoon as sungwoon watches the stars, hand still securely around his wrist. daniel breaks free gently, sitting down in the chair next to him. he joins the elder in looking up at the stars, and waits. 

 

“no,” he says after a long time, sighing softly. time seems to stand still around them, only the night air and daniel to hear sungwoon’s whispered confession. “no, niel, i didn’t.”

 

daniel is silent for a long time after that, an emotion he can’t name running through his veins. he sits there, and maps out the stars, finds the big dipper and the little dipper, orion and cassiopeia. he waits until the moon has shifted in the sky, and finally drops his head back down. 

 

“okay,” daniel says quietly, standing up again. he moves over to the railing and shivers, cold night air starting to get to him. after a minute, he feels a blanket wrap around his shoulders, and sungwoon joins him. “why’d you lie?” he asks, hands clasped over the railing, forearms resting on it. 

 

“i was scared,” sungwoon admits, pulling his long sleeves down over his hands. “i was so terrified you were playing with me, even though you’d never do that. i was  _ so _ terrified of all the consequences, of what could happen if rival gangs found out, of what could happen if i ended up losing you because i chose to be vulnerable. i was so scared, daniel. 

 

so when you gave me that out, when you told me to tell you i didn’t feel the same, i took it. i lied to you for the first time in my life, and been thinking about it ever since. when minhyun came to me -angriest i've ever seen him- and told me to confess, i think i realized how badly i fucked up. like, logically, i knew i’d hurt you but, i didn’t think it was… i wasn’t thinking,” he says, looking down onto the street below them. it’s busy, for 3am, and he wonders if anyone else is having a conversation like this right now. he wonders if anyone else’s heart is beating out of their chest waiting for a reply. 

 

“i was scared too, sungwoon,” daniel says, voice barely above a whisper. he felt like if his voice went any higher, he’d be breaking something, ruining something fundamental. 

 

“but that's the difference between you and i, isn’t it? you leap forward while i leap back. you find solutions no matter what you have to do to get to them, and i stay on one sturdy path. you’ve always been more courageous than i could ever be, kang daniel,” sungwoon replies, just as softly. “that’s one of the many things i admire about you, you know?”

 

“you shouldn’t be admiring me,” daniel responds, small smile quirking up at the corner of his mouth. “not when someone as great as you exists.”

 

sungwoon frowns and turns towards daniel, body leaning heavily on the railing. “kang daniel, don’t underestimate me. i’ll yell all the reasons to admire you right now, to all those people below us,” he threatens, voice determined. 

 

“so do it,” daniel challenges, eyes sparkling. he doesn’t think sungwoon actually will, until he sees the elder takes a deep, deep breath. he watches as sungwoon yells out a  _ ‘hey everyone! i need to tell you about the boy i’m in love with!’  _ and feels his face heat up, hastily shaking his hands. “stop! stop! i was kidding!” he rushes out, leaning over to cover sungwoon’s mouth if need be. 

 

“so stop doubting you’re worthy of admiration,” sungwoon says, reaching out to hold one of daniel’s hands hesitantly. daniel squeezes it gently, and sungwoon smiles. “you’re worth at  _ least _ all the stars in the sky, kang daniel. i’ll accept no other point of view, especially not from you.”

 

the blush is still on daniel’s face, heart racing a mile a minute. he can’t believe this is happening, that sungwoon is so casually talking about how enamored he is with daniel, how smitten. 

 

“you’re so fucking cheesy,” daniel manages to get out, moving so he could wrap the blanket around sungwoon when the elder moves closer, pressing his front to daniel’s. as sungwoon wraps his arms around daniel’s waist, daniel smiles softly. everything felt lighter, less heavy than the past few weeks had. 

 

“it’s in my job description,” sungwoon says, resting his chin on daniel’s chest as he looked up at him. “i’ve got to admit though, i’ve found a flaw. you look quite ugly from this angle,” he adds, giggling when daniel glares at him. 

 

“you don’t look so hot yourself,” daniel says back, pout on his face. 

 

“what are you talking about? i always look great,” sungwoon says with all the false confidence he can muster, flashing daniel a smile. it would be so easy to lean up and kiss him, he realizes. 

 

he also realizes he can, now. they’re on the same page, finally, and sungwoon thinks kissing daniel right now would be really, really nice. 

 

so, he does. he leans up just a tad (he's really not  _ that _ short), hand coming up to tilt down daniel’s face. the look of confusion before their lips meet makes sungwoon smile, and he presses his lips to daniel’s gently. daniel makes a confused noise, eyes still wide open in shock. sungwoon’s lips were so  _ soft _ , it had him hyper aware of how his were probably  _ not.  _

 

“stop thinking so much,” sungwoon mumbles, pulling away only slightly to say so. he smiles again when daniel lets out a soft  _ ‘okay,’ _ and leans down to kiss sungwoon again. 

 

they don't know how long they spend kissing under the stars, but for the first time in months, everything feels right again. 

 

———

 

“you’re being difficult.”

 

“i am  _ not _ .”

 

“just  _ tell him  _ you want to  _ smash his brains out,” _ daniel says, sitting across from seongwu in his room. they’ve been arguing for what feels like hours over this topic. 

 

“maybe if you didn’t word it like i’m a murderer rather than someone who’s in  _ love,” _ seongwu stresses, legs coming up to rest under him. he looked  _ exasperated, _ entirely done with any and everything coming out of daniel’s mouth at the moment.

 

“i’m just  _ saying _ , sometimes you look at him like you’re, i dunno, thinkin weird shit and not to mention that one time you went on a tangent about his  _ thighs _ -“

 

“shut  _ up!” _ seongwu exclaims, ears going red. “i was jealous! they’re really fucking nice, okay!”

 

“daniel will fight with you over this topic for ages, seongwu. he’s convinced all you think about is fucking minhyun,” sungwoon says, walking out of the bathroom from where he was drying his hair. he looks pretty, daniel thinks, and reaches out to wrap a hand around his waist as he walks by. 

 

“is that your guys’ foreplay? talking about my sex life?” seongwu asks, pout on his face. he was tired of this conversation, of both of them. of not being in a relationship like  _ them.  _

 

“yes,” daniel and sungwoon answer in unison, giving each other identical looks. 

 

“gross. you guys are fucking gross,” seongwu says, resting his head on a palm and huffing loudly. . 

 

“gross and happily in love, like you could be, if you just fucking  _ said something,” _ daniel starts again, standing up. moving to wrap his arms around sungwoon fully (it was still surreal he could do this again, but with more  _ meaning  _ now), he says, “like this. you could be happy like  _ this,  _ seongwu.”

 

“shut up and stop rubbing it in. i know i’m a coward,” seongwu responds, standing up as well. going to join the standing up cuddle pile, seongwu wraps his arms around sungwoon, effectively caging him in. “why can’t i just join you guys. take me in. love  _ me _ .”

 

“we do love you,” sungwoon says, reaching up to kiss seongwu’s cheek, and then pat it with his hand. “we just also think you deserve minhyun and minhyun deserves you.”

 

“then we can be a big happy family of love!” daniel exclaims, happy smile on his face. 

 

letting out a sigh, seongwu nods. then nods again, pauses, and nods again. “alright. alright, i’m gonna tell him. if it goes wrong, i expect a formal spot in this relationship whether you like it or not,” he says. 

 

pushing seongwu gently in the direction of the door, sungwoon promises he always has a place with them, and wishes him luck. daniel whispers a ‘ _ they’re totally gonna fuck,’ _ as seongwu makes his way out of the room, and sungwoon nods along. if he gets flipped off by seongwu in response, well. he’s not changing his mind. 

 

———

 

the four of them are laying in daniel’s bed one night, mindlessly scrolling through their phones, or in daniel’s case, playing games, when seongwu poses a question. 

 

“are we like, all dating or something? this is oddly domestic,” he says, sitting up to look at the other three. 

 

“minhyunnie  _ is _ kinda hot,” sungwoon says like it’s nothing, not looking up from his phone. it has minhyun blushing, and seongwu letting out a ‘ _ hey! that’s my boyfriend!’ _ “you just said we were all boyfriends. i’m allowed to call him hot now,” he rationalizes. 

 

“all i’m hearing is that i get triple the kisses now,” daniel says, rolling over to look up at seongwu. “that's what you’re telling me.”

 

“you’ve always gotten triple the kisses, since you were like, five,” seongwu says, rolling his eyes. “if we didn’t kiss you goodnight you’d cry for an hour.”

 

“wait, really?” daniel asks, genuinely not remembering this. 

 

“oh yeah, you’d wake everyone up in the house with your crying. you’d say three was your lucky number, so without one of us you’d have bad luck. it was cute, honestly,” minhyun says, moving so he could rest his head in seongwu’s lap. 

 

“one time sungwoon gave you two kisses because he forgot he gave you one already and you made me and minhyun give you another to balance it out,” seongwu says, smiling fondly and reaching out to move daniel’s hair off his forehead. “you used to be so precious. and then you grew up.”

 

pouting, daniel moves away from seongwu to roll on top of sungwoon, effectively crushing the elder. “help. your boyfriend is being mean to me,” he says, pout stubbornly stuck on his face. 

 

moving to place his phone on his chest, sungwoon places both of his hands on daniel’s cheeks and squishes. “poor baby. can’t handle teasing, can we?” 

 

“no,” daniel says through squished cheeks, lips puffed out. sungwoon takes the chance to give him a kiss, and smiles. 

 

“this is all oddly domestic for gang members,” seongwu reminds them, hand running through minhyun’s hair. “when did we get so soft?”

 

“we’ve always been soft,” minhyun says, voice sleepy with the repeated movements of seongwu’s hand. “always with each other.”

 

“agree,” sungwoon says, moving his hands around on daniel’s face, effectively squishing his cheeks more. he ignores the whine daniel lets out. “guanlinnie is more hardcore than us.”

 

“that kid is more hardcore than anyone i know,” seongwu says, shifting so he could lay back down, pulling minhyun up to his chest. “love him, though.”

 

“so we’re forreal boyfriends now,” daniel states once sungwoon is done messing with his cheeks, rolling off the elder and cuddling up to seongwu’s side. 

 

“guess so,” minhyun says, yawning. 

 

daniel feels happy, and doesn’t think about how weird this could be to other people. he has anyone he could possibly need right next to him (and scattered throughout the house). 

 

“sooo… i can do this,” daniel says, reaching over to plant a kiss on minhyun’s lips, then leaning up to do the same to seongwu. he giggles, butterflies fluttering in his stomach, and looks at sungwoon. he misses the fond looks minhyun and seongwu send him, but sungwoon doesn’t. “more kisses!” he exclaims. 

 

sungwoon has this soft smile on his face, happy to see the three people he loves most happy as well. “more kisses,” he agrees, reaching over to flick off the bedside lamp. he gets comfortable, and reaches out an arm to pull daniel towards him. 

 

it takes a while to get them all arranged comfortably, but eventually they do. sungwoon holds onto daniel as daniel holds one of seongwu’s hands, seongwu laying with minhyun’s head on his chest. sungwoon reaches out to grab one of minhyun’s hands, and feels happiness spread through him when minhyun squeezes it. they were all connected, intertwined, and happy. 

 

all they really needed was each other and their friends, in the end.

 

———

 

daniel doesn’t know what’s going on. there's chaos all around him, people yelling out things into his ear pieces, and daniel has no clue what’s going on. 

 

he’s hiding behind a box in an alley, popping out every few seconds to fire shots in the general direction of the people they’re fighting. nothing today had gone to plan, in  _ any _ sense of the word. they had a late start, which normally daniel would brush off and say wasn’t a big deal, but when they got to where they were going, it was already in chaos. a rival gang had come, trying to catch them to fuck them over, and decided to just do  _ their _ heist.

 

so, chaos. 

 

he sees woojin run across the street, and prays with everything in him nothing bad happens. he lets out the breath he didn’t know he was holding when he makes it safely, and pops out again to fire a few shots at a member of the rival gang. he hears a shout, and mentally ticks off another member of the rival gang in his head. three down, ten to go. 

 

daniel doesn’t know how long he spends behind the boxes, popping in and out of safety, before he feels something. 

 

there's a searing pain in daniel’s left shoulder. 

 

there’s a searing pain in his left shoulder, screaming and chaos in his ear pieces, and a pounding in his head. he can barely make out the words the others are saying over the rushing of blood in his ears, but he hears “ _...just got shot… alley near park ave… meet you there…”.  _

 

daniel doesn’t know who they’re talking about, honestly. the last thing he remembers before blacking out is sungwoon running up to him, concern etched into his features, seongwu and minhyun not far behind.

 

he remembers trying to ask who got shot, and then he was out. 

 

when daniel wakes up later, his mouth feels like cotton, and his entire body feels like jelly. he doesn’t know where he is, but it’s comfortable and warm around him, so he’s not complaining. he groans when something-  _ someone _ next to him shifts, and forces his eyes open. 

 

“morning sunshine,” a familiar voice says, hands running through his hair. 

 

“minhyunnie,” daniel slurs out, mouth still feeling weird and cottony. he looks up and smiles a little dopily. minhyun was  _ pretty.  _ “you’re so pretty,” he says with a giggle, and hums when minhyun pets his hair. 

 

“christ, guanlin, how much morphine did you  _ give him _ ,” he hears seongwu say from somewhere else in the room, daniel too preoccupied with minhyun to know exactly where he was. 

 

“it wasn’t  _ that much-“ _

 

“seongwuuuuuu,” daniel whines, attempting to make grabby hands into the air and whining again when something hurts. he hears a panicked  _ ‘no no, don't do that,’  _ from seongwu before the elder is above him, hands on either side of his face. daniel smiles, and tells seongwu he must be magic because nothing hurts anymore. 

 

“you scared us, you know,” seongwu says, eyebrows furrowing. daniel never did like when seongwu did that with his face. daniel mocks his facial expression, before bursting into giggles. “guanlin i swear to god if you gave him more than it said-“

 

“i didn’t! i swear! he’s just a lightweight or something!” daniel hears guanlin exclaim, and he suddenly realizes all the  _ people _ around. his people.  _ his people.  _

 

“um,” he says, looking up at seongwu with wide eyes. the hands on either side of his face were warm, and comforting, and eased some of the panic welling up in his chest. “what happened?” 

 

“you got shot, honey,” minhyun says, hand still carding through daniel’s hair. “but you’re alright. guanlinnie’s friend came and got the bullet out, and gave you medicine. you’re gonna be fine,” he reassures the younger. 

 

“oh,” daniel says, everything suddenly clicking into place. he remembers the events leading up to getting shot, and frowns. “where’s sungwoonie?” he asks, eyes searching around the room. 

 

“he’s talking with the doctor, nielie” seongwu says reassuringly, and as if on cue, sungwoon wanders back into the room everyone was gathered in. 

 

“how is he?” sungwoon asks, coming closer to the bed. he smiles when daniel looks at him, and bends down to plant a kiss on daniel’s cheek. 

 

“dopey. giggly. confused,” seongwu says, bending down to kiss daniel’s cheek as well. minhyun follows in suit, and daniel smiles like he just got the best present he could ask for. 

 

sungwoon nods, and quietly ushers the rest of the gang out of the room with reassurances they’d be kept updated. 

 

“my legs feel like jelly,” daniel says softly, pout on his face. he reaches for sungwoon (this time with just his right arm) and sighs happily when the elder sits down next to him. 

 

“it’s the medicine, nielie,” sungwoon says, reaching over to hold one of daniel’s hands. he rubs his thumb soothingly across the top of daniel’s hand, and says, “it’ll wear off soon, but then everything will hurt real bad for a while. we can get you more medicine, or you can deal with the pain.”

 

“feels like… someone cut open my shoulder with really dull scissors,” he says, frowning. he rolls onto his right side when seongwu moves off him and buries his face in sungwoon’s lap. “i really got shot?” he asks, voice muffled. 

 

“yeah, you really got shot,” minhyun says, smoothing down the hairs at the base of daniel’s skull. “woojinnie watched it happen. he shot the guy who shot you almost immediately after,” he adds. 

 

“he’s great,” daniel says, sighing happily. “everyone is great. i love them all. i love _ you _ all.”

 

at this, the trio laughs and reminds daniel they love him too. 

 

“you’re like, a certified gang boss now,” seongwu says with a laugh, sitting down at the edge of the bed. “you got shot and everything.”

 

“yay for me,” daniel says, face still buried in sungwoon’s lap. he doesn’t feel like moving any time soon, his shoulder starting to throb heavily. 

 

eventually, they rearrange themselves so daniel can get cuddled without injuring his shoulder further, and the youngest of the four falls back asleep almost immediately. the trio stay up for a while longer, just watching daniel sleep, with minhyun petting daniel’s hair like he loved to do. 

 

“he’ll be fine,” minhyun says, looking over to where sungwoon was no doubt thinking worried thoughts. he had been a wreck after getting to daniel in the alley, yelling out orders like some kind of tyrant to every and anyone. minhyun didn’t blame him, sungwoon always having been extra protective over daniel, but he figured he’d try to reassure him anyway. “he’s strong, and it was only his shoulder. it could’ve been worse, and we all know it.”

 

“yeah,” sungwoon says after a while, giving minhyun a grateful smile when they make eye contact. he leans over to give minhyun a quick kiss. “yeah, he’ll be fine,” he repeats. 

 

they fall asleep close to each other that night, like they do every night, and thank every god imaginable that daniel is okay. 

 

———

 

it’s a rainy day in april when daniel thinks about his life. he’d woken up late, much later than he normally does. everyone was already out of bed by that time, sheets no longer warm from bodies sleeping in them. he lays in bed on his side, staring out the floor to ceiling window, watching raindrops race each other down the windowpane. 

 

he thinks about himself from two, three years ago and smiles to himself. _ everything _ was different. he was selling drugs to live rather than for business, he was living with his mom (who he still sends money to- thank you very much), and he was in the middle of a fight with sungwoon. 

 

_ sungwoon.  _ that’s what he thinks has changed the most over these past years- his relationship with sungwoon (and minhyun and seongwu, of course). they had gone from two kids sharing a bed at an orphanage, to two grown adults in a gang, dating. he thinks about minhyun and seongwu as well, the other two men he loves, and sighs happily. the four of them, dating. if you told an 18 year old daniel how his life would turn out, he’d laugh in your face. he laughs to  _ himself _ at the ridiculousness of it all, and rolls over when he feels someone else get into bed behind him. 

 

“what’re you thinking about?” sungwoon asks, wrapping an arm around daniel’s waist and smiling down at him.  _ god _ daniel was so in love. 

 

“nothing much,” daniel responds with a smile, leaning up to kiss sungwoon softly. “us. minhyunnie, seongwu,” he adds. 

 

at this, sungwoon hums, and squeezes daniel’s waist. “come have breakfast, jisungie cooked. everyone’s out there,” sungwoon says. 

 

daniel takes a moment to fully breathe, and turns to sungwoon. “i’ll be there in a sec, i just have to do something.”

 

“okay,” sungwoon smiles and waddles to the doorway. when he turns around just  _ enough _ , the sun hits his body and he positively  _ glows _ . daniel throws him a wink, completely in awe, and smiles as sungwoon leaves the doorway with a giggle.

 

he takes a moment to truly  _ think _ , and smiles to himself, before stretching and tugging on a shirt. he wanders down the hall, into the living room where guanlin, jihoon, and woojin sit on the couch, looking content as the smell of breakfast brings a sense of peace to daniel.

 

sure, he got shot, sure he fell in love with three of his best friends and sure, he made a gang with ten people he couldn’t live without. but he was here, and though it may not be for long, it counts for  _ something _ .

 

daniel will take what he can get.

  
  



End file.
